'Twas the night: A 2023 Philly Christmas story

I-95 was back flowing after 12 days of repairs,

Crews knowing Mike Carroll and Shapiro would soon be there.

The Birds all unsettled after losses in three,

While star QB Jalen Hurts remains calm and steady.

And Gritty his calendar, and Bryce Harper his bat,

Settled in after Philly lost to the D-Backs.

When out of West Philly arose a weird listing,

Our own Mike D. sprung up to do some more digging.

At the Linc, you hear the crowd's rising inflection,

As Kelly green Birds run another "tush push" to utter perfection.

From documentaries to music, the Kelces blazed charts,

While kid brother did his best to woo America's sweetheart.

In politics, there was no great debate,

Cherelle Parker quickly sealed David Oh's fate.

In her first move, she appointed Kevin Bethel,

With one single mission: reduce the crime level.

Car and retail thefts on the rise,

Had DA Krasner rethinking how to save lives.

People shouted, "Justice for Eddie" and protested,

Until officer Mark Dial was charged and arrested.

Charges dropped, in a decision found rash,

Case reinstated by a judge, quick as a flash.

A super blue moon as rare as snow,

Nightmares to dreams as Meek started to flow.

When what to our wondering eyes did appear,

Cheers to 50 years of hip-hop,

And a toasty scribe sipping beers.

From Broad Street to Phoenix,

Fans bellowed and climbed poles;

Just a passage of time for the Longos.

From Abbott to food, our wins are replete,

Just ask St. Nick as he chases the next feat.

Hey Philly, we hope this was a delight.

✨ Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!