'Twas the night: A 2025 Philly Christmas story

The "ELGSES" Super Bowl banner was hung at the Linc with care,

With the city buzzin', knowin' World Cup soon would be there,

A city of champions, all snug with their rings,

The ladies lookin' fresh — corset queen crafting their bling.

And Shapiro with his memoir, and Chinatown, its canceled cap,

Both hunkered down for a long '26 scrap.

When from Fishtown to West Chester arose tax chatter,

From the shadows stepped forth a forgotten Philly rapper.

"Made in America" on hiatus, still no return bash,

And the Roots muddy picnic held tight to the cash.

When what to our wondering eyes did appear,

But an NFL fan's quest and Gritty's new souvenir.

SEPTA's doomsday cuts became a court rift.

Leaving attorney George Bochetto quite miffed.

More rapid than SEPTA's surrender,

Were fans acting like Jalen Hurts is a pretender.

The Eagles, division clinched, are back on track,

A team that helped Philly heal from the plane crash.

Philadelphians, so generous, donated to the recovery,

And reminded us of what makes this city so lovely.

In 2026, still more problems to handle,

Mayor Cherelle Parker has pledged to take up the mantle.

Homicides, police contract and garbage strike in the rearview,

Parker still polling favorably, though others take a dim view.

AI has us pondering the gap left between us,

While some praying for peace to Chatbot Jesus.

Say grace, book a res, break bread in Philly's shimmering kitchens,

Come taste for yourself — Michelin finally bore witness.

Penny for your thoughts, and for new year wishes,

Staggering auction prices felt like computer glitches.

Larry Krasner, in his third term, promised to pull up his britches,

And help Philly fend off Trump's inquisitions.

Yo, Philly, our future is bright, so be like Rocky — and keep up the fight.

🧑‍🎄 Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!