We asked ChatGPT to roast Philadelphia
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Illustration: Sarah Grillo/Axios
We gave ChatGPT a "jawn-ting" task: Roast Philadelphia. It went straight for the jugular.
- "Ah, 'jawn' … the duct tape of Philly slang. … Basically, if you can't remember the actual word for something, just throw 'jawn' at it."
Why it matters: Philadelphians are roastmasters, so the virtual jawn had its work cut out.
The big picture: Our idea came from an Instagram reel of someone asking the AI chatbot to pretend it's a comedian and roast the people from Northern Virginia.
- We used the same prompt for Philly, and we've got to admit … some of its zingers were mid while others had us crying like Nick Sirianni during the national anthem at the Super Bowl.
First, it tossed a couple haymakers at our movie icon and unofficial city ambassador, Rocky Balboa: the "only boxer whose main claim to fame is getting punched in the face so much, he's basically a human speed bag."
- In the words of the Balboa, "It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
Chat GPT worked the body with a stomach punch about our love of cheesesteaks.
- "Then there's the debate over 'wit" or 'witout.' You know you're in Philadelphia when a simple sandwich order turns into an existential crisis."
Our take: Keep talking, Chat GPT, and you'll be nibbling as daintily on your words as John Kerry did his sammy with Swiss.
Then it finished with a frenzied, 12th-round flurry of low blows aimed at Jason Kelce and Gritty.
- Kelce has "the motivational energy of a drill sergeant mixed with a college frat party."
- Gritty's face "is the kind of thing that can only be described as, 'I don't know whether to laugh or call for an exorcist.'"
The knockout: "SEPTA's trains are like Philadelphia's sports teams: full of hope, frequently disappointing."
The bottom line: Spoken like a true Philadelphian.