Jun 7, 2024 - News

How to not question all your life decisions this summer in Florida

Illustration of the  Sunshine Skyway Bridge under a hot sun.

Illustration: Brendan Lynch/Axios

It's so hot.

It's so hot the Gulf of Mexico already feels like a bathtub.

It's so hot daily temperatures are smashing 40-year-old records.

Why it matters: Step outside and you'll know β€” the misery of summer heat has arrived early this year, rendering outdoor activities somewhere between uncomfortable and dangerous.

The bad news: The extreme temperatures are likely here to stay. Forecasters project everywhere in the contiguous U.S. except North Dakota to be hotter than average, Axios' Andrew Freedman reports.

The good news: There isn't much!

Yes, but: For all you newcomers, we've got some ideas to help you avoid totally losing your minds. (Maybe longtime Floridians will take away some new tips as well.)

πŸŽ₯ Become that guy who's really into Oscars predictions by frequenting the sweet, cool darkness of your local movie theater.

  • Chains such as Regal and AMC are offering family discounts all summer.

πŸ›Ά Paddle or tube down a Florida spring, our only bodies of water that don't feel like hot tubs by August.

πŸ’¦ Mingle outside one of those luxury condo buildings to make a friend with free access to a fancy pool.

  • St. Pete, Tampa and Clearwater public pools are also open for the summer, although sans rooftop bar (check hours before you go).

πŸ›οΈ Go to your nearest Target and buy Megababe's anti-chafing stick. Your inner thighs will thank you. Then head to Trader Joe's to stock up on the retailer's SPF 40 facial sunscreen, an $8.99 Supergoop! dupe sent from the gods.

⛰️ Try this new take on doomscrolling: perusing mountain houses you'll never be able to afford in faraway, less-oppressive lands like North Carolina.

  • Or plan a trip there! Our friends at Axios Charlotte and Axios Atlanta have great round-ups of swimming holes in Western North Carolina and Northern Georgia, both within driving distance of Florida.

🐊 Minimize swamp a-- by simply refusing to wear real pants. Bike shorts, exercise dresses and mesh gym shorts are all better options.

Have other ideas on how to beat the heat? Don't gatekeep!


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