How to fake being a Chicago Bears fan in 2026
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Caleb Williams #18 leads a huddle before an NFL wild-card playoff game against the Green Bay Packers in January. Photo: Michael Owens/Getty Images
The Bears are starting this season with something they haven't had in a long time: expectations.
Why it matters: After winning the NFC North last year, Chicago isn't sneaking up on anybody — and sounding like you know what you're talking about at a Bears watch party just got harder.
State of play: If you were busy last winter and missed the Bears suddenly becoming good, don't worry.
- I'm here to help you sound like a lifelong fan during those inevitable Sunday afternoon gatherings.
This is "How to Fake It: The Chicago Bears (2026-27)."
Caleb Williams
If you can only handle one player's name, memorize this one. Williams earned the nickname Iceman for his knack for delivering late in close games.
Catch up quick: Williams is the closest thing the Bears have ever had to a quarterback superstar. He's on the cover of magazines, the cover of video games and a social media darling. He is also just short of miraculous on the football field and his offensive weapons mostly return, which could mean lots of scoring.
- A simple "The Iceman cometh to play!" quip after his first completion will let other partygoers know you mean business.
- Try to stay away from "Ice, Ice, Baby." Too easy.
Ben Johnson
The nerdy-looking head coach is super intense. He's also great at winning football games. He's an offensive guru who never smiles, but he once ripped his shirt off in a locker room after a win.
- He's also kind of a rabble-rouser, starting fights in the media with other coaches. Very Chicago.
Zoom in: When the camera shows him mean-mugging during the game, throw out a "Take your shirt off!" Not only will you get a good laugh, but the party host will fetch you another beer and bring out the good guacamole.
The defense
This is no longer the Monsters of the Midway, more like the Milquetoasts of the Midway (you can use that one).
By the numbers: The unit was rated among the worst last year and gave up a lot of points. This year, they added a rookie safety, Dillon Thieneman, but they lost two starters to injury in the offseason.
- A quick "DT is the new hitman" will go far, since you referenced a legendary '85 Bear (Gary Fencik), which is the ultimate Bears party trick.
Names to drop
For your cheat sheet: Casually drop these phrases when there's a lull in the party conversation:
- "What's up with Kyler Gordon? Spiderman? More like soft-tissue-injury man."
- "Did you know that Zavion Thomas is a distant relative to Walter Payton?"
- "I cannot wait to watch a motivated Dayo get to the quarterback!"
- "I miss Drew Dalman."
The bottom line: Once everyone has hoisted you on their shoulders, hit 'em with a "Now, if we can only go get Maxx Crosby" before you scoop the good guac in your hands and leave the party on a high note.
Prediction: Bears win. All the time.