Chicago daters turn to matchmakers as app fatigue grows
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Some daters fatigued by apps are trying matchmakers, but the rules of dating remain the same—it takes time, focus and honesty to work.
Why it matters: While 1 in 10 partnered people reported meeting their significant other on a dating app, 80% of women and 74% of men report burnout. Matchmakers offer another option and a companion to work through some of the frustrations of dating.
How it works: Matchmaking takes out the guesswork of other dating, Three Day Rule Chicago matchmaker Kara Laricks tells Axios.
- Clients meet with a matchmaker to outline their needs, including deal breakers, what kind of relationship they want and long-term goals.
- The matchmaker consults a database of potential matches for the client and the daters connect and go out.
- It's what happens after the date that Laricks sees as an important benefit to matchmaking. "You really get to hear play-by-play how did the date go for each one of you and if there is anything that you know was a bump in the road or definitely worth a second date."
By the numbers: Finding love is not cheap, but matchmakers say the goal makes the cost worth it.
- Three Day Rule offers multiple tiers from free to $15,000, a spokesperson told Axios.
- Agape Matchmaking founder Maria Avgitidis told CBS News the company's fees can range from $30,000 to $100,000.
- Chicago-based Selective Search Luxury Matchmaking lists its prices online between $50,000 and $500,000, and boasts an 89% success rate.
By the numbers: Based on some stories, you'd think that 99% of daters face a bleak scene, but the numbers aren't that stark.
- About 36% of people reported feeling somewhat positive about dating in a 2025 Forbes Health/OnePoll.
- That's compared to 3.6% who feel "very negatively" about the process.
- Online dating still dominates as the top connector, with 44% reporting meeting someone that way.
- Don't hold your breath on a "While You Were Sleeping" love story; only 5% of respondents reported meeting someone on public transit.
The intrigue: Chicago daters can expect a slow burn on the road to forever. Illinois ranks as the second slowest state to say "I love you."
Context: Daters shouldn't necessarily see matchmaking and dating apps as an either/or situation, Laricks says. As a dating coach, she serves as a client's "wingwoman" who can talk through what may or may not have worked, rather than the dater falling into an abyss of "what ifs" that can happen when the connection is a one-off online.
Between the lines: Investing tens of thousands of dollars to find your soulmate is not feasible for most, especially young people starting their careers, making free apps a more affordable route.
- But Gen Zers forced to stare at screens for school and other social interactions crave real-life experiences and are moving away from the apps.
- One study reports 77% of Gen Zers met a partner IRL. According to Eventbrite, Chicagoans in this age range are meeting people at trivia and mahjong events.
- Those meet-cutes become rarer as daters age, as people's routines are more set and the pool more limited.
Bottom line: Shorter attention spans, never looking up from our phones and instant gratification have made dating more difficult, Laricks says, but dating, no matter how you meet them, comes down to some universal basics.
- "What I can say after 10 years of doing this is that the very best long-lasting love stories often do start with some kind of bump, some kind of miscommunication. And when people are willing to give it time, energy, effort, that is when those healthy relationships actually develop."