Feds drive the fun out of Illinois' highway signs

• Officials say the humorous missives could "adversely affect respect for the sign."

Why it matters: Sometimes these goofy quips were the only bright spots during otherwise miserable commutes. (Our colleagues in Boston agree.)

The intrigue: Before the phase-out, we'd like Illinois officials to consider a few bangers we've been crafting for months.

• "I'll bet if you swerve from lane to lane, you can get downtown faster."
• "Slow down and enjoy the peace before you fight with your partner at the Ikea by Woodfield."
• "Don't text and drive, but scrolling Dilla's TikTok is fine."
• "Urlacher's hair wants you to slow down."
• "Avoid road rage unless that a#$ from Wisconsin cuts you off."

What's next: We're guessing that you can think up some better ones. Submit your best by emailing [email protected].