Jan 18, 2024 - Transit

Feds drive the fun out of Illinois' highway signs

Illustration of a highway electronic sign doing a standup routine. The sign reads, "So what's the deal with..."

Illustration: Maura Losch/Axios

Enjoy the highway jokes while you can.

What's happening: Over the next two years, the Federal Highway Administration will be phasing out those funny safety messages over roadways nationwide, Axios' Shauneen Miranda reports.

  • Officials say the humorous missives could "adversely affect respect for the sign."

Why it matters: Sometimes these goofy quips were the only bright spots during otherwise miserable commutes. (Our colleagues in Boston agree.)

The intrigue: Before the phase-out, we'd like Illinois officials to consider a few bangers we've been crafting for months.

  • "I'll bet if you swerve from lane to lane, you can get downtown faster."
  • "Slow down and enjoy the peace before you fight with your partner at the Ikea by Woodfield."
  • "Don't text and drive, but scrolling Dilla's TikTok is fine."
  • "Urlacher's hair wants you to slow down."
  • "Avoid road rage unless that a#$ from Wisconsin cuts you off."

What's next: We're guessing that you can think up some better ones. Submit your best by emailing [email protected].

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