How to fake it: The NBA draft

The Bulls have the No. 18 pick in tonight's NBA draft, the next chance to improve the roster after an early exit from the playoffs.

• You may end up at a draft party or watching it at home with significant others, so here's a quick guide to help you sound smart around even the most die-hard fans.

Ice breaker: The 2022 Bulls finally finished with a winning record and a playoff appearance, but their overall record against winning teams was historically dismal.

• A quick, "Anyone can beat the Pistons, but talk to me when we sweep the Heat," will turn the party's attention your way.

Trades: After losing to the Milwaukee Bucks in the playoffs because they couldn't compete with Giannis Antetokounmpo, there are rumors swirling around that the Bulls might trade for Utah Jazz center and former defensive player of the year Rudy Gobert.

• Drop this nugget: "You mean Rudy Gobert from the French national team?" Watch smiles form and heads nod in approval.

Draft: If the Bulls don't trade their pick tonight, there are some good names — including Duke's Mark Williams — Axios Sports thinks could be there at 18.

• If he gets picked: "Well, he can't be any worse than Carlos Boozer or Wendell Carter," will get you invited to the group text.
• Or zero in on fashion: "Yeah, he'll be good, but I wish he dressed more like Joakim Noah."

Free agents: The Bulls are front-runners to sign Zach LaVine. He would be back to play alongside DeMar DeRozan and Lonzo Ball.

• Once Ball is brought up, a, "Yeah, that knee, though. Better have a strong backup," will get audible responses.
• But don't get cocky. Instead, be patient and hit 'em with a, "Is Nate Robinson still playing?" You may get some folks who jump out of their seats.

The bottom line: Bulls fans have faith in the front office of Artūras Karnišovas and Marc Eversley.

• So when you get up to leave, drop a sarcastic, "I don't know, Gar/Pax would have done better." Congratulations, you just got invited to a United Center skybox this year. You're welcome.

If all else fails, just ask to turn on "The Last Dance." Works every time.