How to fake it: Madigan indictment

Former Illinois House Speaker Michael J. Madigan will be arraigned today. He's facing 22 counts of racketeering.

Why it matters: Madigan is the long-standing face of Chicago-style politics. It's likely this case will be brought up at your upcoming St. Patrick's Day parties.

• So here are a few tidbits to help you hold your own.

Flashback: In 1970, Mayor Richard J. Daley sent Madigan to Springfield to be a delegate to the Illinois Constitutional Convention.

• Throw that nugget out, followed by, "He made the laws that he is being accused of breaking," and you will score some early points.

Driving the news: ComEd leaders and lobbyists were indicted in 2020 on bribery charges. The utility agreed to a "deferred prosecution" deal and is now working with the feds.

• What did we get in return? Maybe $21 million in rebates. That's less than $5 per customer. "Hey, that plus a cup of coffee could get me another cup of coffee." Gold!

The intrigue: Prosecutors presented plenty of evidence against Madigan. But the feds also indicted lobbyist Michael McClain.

• While Madigan was very disciplined with communications, McClain was writing emails on a computer that was seized from his home during an FBI raid in 2019.
• Now turn to a partygoer and say, "Are you writing this down? Don't." The party will erupt in big belly laughs. Then ask if anyone can grab you a drink from the kitchen. They will.

Be smart: The 13th Ward is the home of Madigan's "Enterprise." It's the area near Midway Airport, including West Lawn, where Madigan lives.

• West Lawn has the highest vaccination rate in the city.
• Why? Because it has a high percentage of city workers, and city jobs were a big part of the Madigan enterprise.
• Your line: "With that vax rate, maybe Madigan should be the next health commissioner!"

🎤 At this point, drop the mic. Tell your fellow partygoers there's plenty more material that you're saving for another day.

• Feel free to drink all the green beer you can. You've earned it.