The latest: Now the other is trying to destroy my piano, couch, dresser, dining table, liquor cabinet and houseplants.
The vet says they're probably bored. So my house has turned into an animal-enrichment reformatory.
We now have "foraging" puzzles for their food, toy mice strewn everywhere and finally, the height of Crazy Cat Lady accouterments: a catio.
How it works: It's an outdoor kennel with window access so cats can laze around in a slightly different location before coming inside to scratch up more furniture.
The result: They love it. They chatter at birds and growl at pedestrians for hours.
They just aren't behaving any better indoors.
Tell us: Have you ever owned a destructive cat? Did anything work, other than focusing on how cute they are and ignoring the rest?