Inside the Slammer Tavern's chaotic holiday glow
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It's 8pm and standing-room only on a recent Saturday at Central Eastside dive bar the Slammer Tavern.
- "Cough Syrup" by Young the Giant plays on the TouchTunes jukebox in the back, barely audible, while a group of Santa hat-clad twentysomethings walk in and immediately order Jell-O shots.
Over the course of the night, the raucous crowd moves like a group of synchronized birds. They ebb and flow to make more room at the bar, with drinks in their hands and smiles on their faces, which reflect the strings of red, green and blue lights flickering above.
The big picture: The Slammer Tavern, a fixture on the corner of Southeast Stark Street and Eighth Avenue for more than four decades, is known for displaying its colorful Christmas lights year-round — in a delightfully haphazard fashion.
- The exterior can look dicey, but it boasts itself as "possibly the friendliest bar" in Portland for a reason.
- Plus: Every year after Thanksgiving, the bar goes pedal to the metal with the holiday decor. The intimate, low-ceiling building is filled with so many ornaments, nutcrackers, stockings and Saint Nick figurines you'll be wondering who spiked the nog.
Zoom in: Inside, the U-shaped bar is the centerpiece. There's no holiday drink menu, but the bartenders are happy to make you anything from the well — even if that means adding a splash of cranberry juice to your spicy margarita to make it look more festive.
- Food options are standard sober-up bar bites, from a bowl of chili to hot dogs and quesadillas. Instead, consider stopping by while waiting for a table at nearby Toya Ramen, Kachka and Bar Casa Vale.
Yes, but: What's on offer isn't the reason to come. It's about the atmosphere, people watching and trinket spotting.
- The vending machine has old issues of Playboy, bedazzled sunglasses and whatever is in the mystery $10 "quickie wedding in a bag."
- It's a rite of passage to hang your print from the photo booth on the wall, and the Skee-Ball machine is a great way to kill time or engage in friendly competition with a fellow patron.
- You may even run into Lizzie Robarts-Dille, who was a barkeep at the Slammer long before she bought the place. Her fiery red hair and "don't poke the bear" mantra ensure the place remains the right kind of rowdy.
If you go: The Slammer Tavern (500 SE 8th Ave.) is open daily from 4pm to 1am.