3 ways to make Philadelphia Parking Authority less soulless
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The sole of Isaac's jacked-up Jordan Westbrooks. Photo: Isaac Avilucea/Axios
True story: I lost my sole looking for my car in Old City — literally, the sole of my all-black Jordan Westbrooks fell off.
Why it matters: For many residents, the Philadelphia Parking Authority is the king of misery — and it struck again this week, towing my Nissan Sentra while I was hanging out with my Axios colleagues.
Driving the news: I was walking back from lunch with my Axios Local colleagues on Wednesday at Red Owl Tavern when I noticed my car wasn't where I had parked it.
- That was confusing because I'd paid for two hours of parking.
- Almost exactly at the same moment, my shoe's sole popped off.
What's that saying? Bad news comes in threes.
- After dropping $33 for an Uber ride to the impound lot on Oregon Avenue, I paid another $378 to get my car out.
- It cost me more because I had three unpaid tickets to boot, including one I received after my meter expired minutes before I got back to my car (yeah, yeah, they've heard that excuse before) from our Axios Live event.
What I found: The staff was super polite, even after I almost crashed out upon learning my insurance card had expired and I had to call my provider to email an updated one.
- After taking a beat, I remembered that I'm not alone.
The big picture: Pretty much everyone despises PPA — you, me (theoretically), Snacktime and the comedian who went viral after declaring there wasn't a "more evil" parking agency in the U.S.
- But like it or not, some of the hatred toward the parking authority is unfounded — or at least unrealistic.
State of play: PPA is following its government mandate by enforcing parking violations.
- Plus, only a fraction of the money the agency generates every year comes from towing — about $3 million through August.
By the numbers: PPA tows about 75 to 100 illegally parked vehicles every day to its five impound lots, agency spokesperson Martin O'Rourke tells Axios.
Yes, but: Philadelphians have reason to complain because sometimes PPA does boneheaded things.
- We'll enter courtesy towing and wrongly towing cars during FIFA Fan Fest as two exhibits, since this isn't a pile-on — but it might be a pile-up.
Reality check: Staff also have plenty of horror stories, including times police were called to deal with disgruntled drivers.
- Break-ins and vandalism are also common, O'Rourke says.
So I thought up three ways PPA could ease already-high tensions with its biggest fan base:
- Philly is a Wawa city, so partner with our favorite convenience store on a snack table at the impoundment lots. Nothing soothes a harried Hooter like a soft pretzel and a cup of joe.
- Establish a rotating list of up-and-coming therapists who want to get their names out there to provide 10-minute sessions for anyone looking to relitigate how the nose of their car wasn't technically in the no-parking zone.
- Reinvest some of the fees into hiring a massage therapist for people who are towed.
The bottom line: Every PPA story deserves a happy ending.