ChatGPT roasts Columbus, with hilarious results
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Illustration: Sarah Grillo/Axios
Inspired by our intrepid Axios colleagues and a recent social media trend, we asked ChatGPT to crack some jokes at Columbus' expense.
Why it matters: Local comedians can rest assured that their jobs are safe ... for now.
- Some of these takes are brutal, though. You've been warned.
😬 The AI chatbot came out swinging, taking aim at our identity crisis and corny Midwest humor:
- "Columbus is like if you asked a city, 'What if beige was a personality?' It's like someone tried to build a city out of khakis and dad jokes."
- Ouch.
🏈 Then it targeted OSU fans, as any normal outsider would.
- "It's like you have two speeds in this city: watching Buckeye football and waiting for the next Buckeye game."
- "I swear, if Ohio State ever lost more than three games in a season, half this city would forget how to function. You'd have people wandering the streets, mumbling stats from 2002, like, 'But... Maurice Clarett...!'"
- OK, that's funny. And true.
☔ It also went for the low-hanging fruit that is Midwest weather.
- "You wake up and it's sunny, by lunch it's snowing, and by dinner, there's a tornado watch because why not? It's like Mother Nature has mood swings and Columbus is her emotional support town."
- Eh. Try harder.
🍽️ Its criticism of the local dining scene started to make our blood boil.
- "Ah yes, Columbus: where 'spicy' means you added black pepper. 'Ooh, is that ketchup on your hot dog? Bold choice!'"
- "You guys will hype up a chain restaurant like it's a five-star Michelin experience. 'Have you been to the new Cheesecake Factory? I hear the bread is to die for!'"
- Has it even heard of Dirty Frank's? Ketchup is for amateurs. And Refectory would like to have a word.
🏙️ A signoff calling our skyline "just tall enough to be called a skyline" was the last straw.
The other side: We decided to fight fire with fire and asked ChatGPT to roast itself in Axios' Smart Brevity writing style. Some highlights:
- "The big picture: ChatGPT sounds smart, but sometimes it's just confidently wrong."
- "Why it matters: Getting half your facts straight is a great way to annoy both the curious and the informed."
- "Bottom line: ChatGPT can spit out a Shakespearean sonnet but stumbles on the weather forecast."
Read ChatGPT's full roast of Columbus, plus our reverse roast