May 10, 2024 - News

From Chuck E. Cheese to bananas: Readers share their moms' most memorable lies

Mother's day greeting card. Vintage chalkboard with handwriting lettering Happy mother's day with spring apple flowers and petals over pink marble background. Flat lay, space.

Moms are the best. Photo: Natasha Breen/REDA&CO/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

It's here, the moment you've all been waiting for: a compilation of the best lies told by moms, according to readers.

Why it matters: Mother's Day weekend had us reminiscing about the lies our moms told us growing up, whether they were to make us feel better, keep us safe or stop us from crying upon realizing Santa isn't real (don't let your kids read this).

Here were some of our favorite reader entries:

Laura C.: "That Chuck E. Cheese was only open for birthdays."

Melanie H.: "That eating black or brown bananas would make my legs fall off."

Jen M.: "That my goldfish lived FIVE years!! One day I got home from school and caught her flushing one down the toilet."

Kelsey S.: That "tuna fish was a plant" and real beef burgers were veggie burgers. Kelsey was trying to be a vegetarian.

Bo T.: "'Your behavior is going to put me in the nuthouse.' Never did!"

One reader: "That our dad was away on a business trip when he went to jail."

Kate S.: "My grandmother used to tell my mom that if she left her shoes on the porch overnight, that a dog would carry them off."

Laurel M.: At 5 years old, Laurel's mom said to pray to God for a baby sister (because Laurel wanted one). Meanwhile, her mom had a hysterectomy the year before, so prayers were not going to be enough.

David G.: "In middle school, my mom reassured me, 'You're not chubby, you're husky.' … worked like magic on my self-esteem."

Another reader: "If you swallow that seed, a watermelon will grow in your stomach."

Maggie C.: "That no one could have candy/chocolate/sweets before 10am. I grew up thinking this was some sort of universal health rule with dire consequences."

Deborah C.: "That high school [would be] the happiest days of your life. Thank God that wasn't true!"

Reader: A friend's mom in Jersey said that when it gets warmer, the goldfish previously frozen in their backyard pond wake up from hibernation. The mom was buying new fish to add in every year.

Sabrina's pick: My mom, one of the most creative people I know, used to plan elaborate schemes for when "Santa" came, which included trashing the house, reindeer prints throughout the house and Rudolph spilling water all over the kitchen.

Karri's pick: I actually owe my mom an apology after accusing her of lying about our cat jumping out a car window when moving and running 8 miles back home to be raised by neighbors. My brother said it happened, and he confirmed with the neighbor.

  • Yes, but: He reminded me that she used to tell us chicken livers were regular chicken to trick us into eating her favorite food. I cannot eat chicken livers to this day because of it.

The bottom line: Moms are the queens of lies, and we're (mostly) better people for them.

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