Erika Kirk on the advice that made her see grief differently

• Charlie Kirk, 31, was killed a year ago while speaking at a Utah university. The couple have two children, ages 4 and 2.

What they're saying: Erika Kirk recounts how she turned to Second Lady Usha Vance shortly after the killing, saying she didn't know how she'd get through the loss. Vance offered her this:

• She told Kirk to "just get through the next 15 minutes."
• "Her words are seared into my heart," Kirk writes.
• "At first, I needed to survive the next 15 minutes. Over time, I've realized that Charlie would want me to live them," she adds.

Zoom in: Missed birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the couple's wedding anniversary bring on waves of grief for Kirk, she writes, but she leans on her faith to accept that she won't always have answers to her questions.

• "A year ago, when I felt it coming over me, I wondered whether it would swallow me completely. Now, I recognize it; sometimes I even welcome it, because for a moment the grief makes Charlie feel impossibly close."