Gifts they'll hate: What to bring to a Philly white Christmas party

The setup: John Morgan, of the Florida-based Morgan & Morgan law firm, this year committed what an Inquirer columnist dubbed the "ultimate Philly sin" by installing a billboard that says "I'm Jawn Morgan" smack dab in Center City.

• An out-of-towner trying to woo Philadelphians by riffing their slang? That's a troll big enough for the Ben Franklin Bridge.

'Tis the season of giving, so we're giving it right back to Mr. Morgan.

The gifts: These "I Plead Naughty" and "O Christmas Plea" jerseys would be considered aggravating factors even for devoted ugly sweater-wearers.

• And these hideous pairs of socks bearing Morgan's mug are a real feat (get it?), but we're not sure how much bargaining power they carry.

The bottom line: Whatever unfortunate jawn gets these gifts might want to call "#Law, That's all" as these are personally injurious.