When weed whackers failed, goats ate our Atlanta backyard kudzu
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You did good, buddy. Photo: Thomas Wheatley/Axios
When moving dirt with heavy equipment and mowing the ground with a high-powered blade couldn't curb the kudzu in our backyard, we called in the goats.
Why it matters: Kudzu's two purposes on this Earth are to overtake the landscape and to cause me extreme psychological anguish. Extraordinary measures were warranted.
Catch up quick: This summer, my wife and I hired a herd of goats to feast on the ever-spreading sea of kudzu behind our house, which can grow a foot or more every 24 hours.
- We wondered what the big backyard forest would look like without the vine, English ivy and privet that crowded out new growth.
- In addition, the swath of land that rolls into a ravine is a stomping ground for coyotes, deer and birds of prey.
Zoom in: In April, we put down our deposit on the herd and, thanks to heavy rains and high temperatures, waited ... and waited. In early August, we received an email: The goats — roughly 12 of them — will see you tomorrow.
How it works: The goat company sets up an electric fence around the area, drops off hay and water buckets and says they'll check on the goats in a few days.
- For the next five days or so, the goats eat the kudzu and ivy, stand around in the dark, literally butt heads — and poop.
- As my friend said, "God, I wish I lived my life with that kind of purpose. They KNOW what they're there to do."
Yes, but: Along the way, my wife and I fell in love with our guests. I've never been a fan of the animals (the crazy eyes and the sideways chewing were too much), but this herd stole my heart.
- Our crew included a goat who appeared on "Love and Hip-Hop" — the alpha of the group and a bully — and a sweet, one-horned cream-colored gal that appreciated a hello.
- Every morning, during the day, and before bed, my wife and I would walk the fence and say hi, scratch their heads and make sure none had gone missing.
Caveat: The goats only eat the leaves, which allows us to trace the vines (we hope) so we can find the bulb of the kudzu plant, which we plan to poison with a natural mix of vinegar and cayenne.
The big picture: Three days into the goats feasting on the sea of kudzu, we seriously discussed getting our hands on three or four to keep busy on the English ivy in the offseason.
- We're not quite there — yet.