Buccaneers are looking for the next Captain Fear

• Well, if your sports fantasies slipped through your fingers like a fumbled ball, fear not. There are other, sweatier ways to keep that dream alive.

What's happening: The Buccaneers are looking for someone to step into the oversized shoes of the team's mascot, Captain Fear.

Why it matters: The job listing gives us a glimpse under the foam head into which we've poured our enthusiasm, our pride and our often desperate hope for a Superbowl.

So, what does it take to be Captain Fear? Here's what we know.

🎓 A college degree: Time to put that philosophy degree to work.

🏈 Nights, weekends, holidays: It's not like you weren't already watching the game.

🏋️ Lifting more than 20 pounds is required: Sometimes you'll need to lift something heavier than the fans' spirits.

🙊 Communication skills: You'll need to make people smile, laugh, cheer and boo without being able to talk. No pressure.

🕒 Punctual: You're a pirate, but you have to be on time.

😤 Customer service: Those people cursing out the refs from the front row? They're always right.

🎭 Previous experience as a mascot: Looking for someone who's already mastered the art of sweating gracefully in public.

💃 Comfortable in front of crowds: Dance like nobody's watching. To be fair, they're probably watching the game.

🔍 Background check: We need to make sure you're the right kind of crazy for this job.

🤔 Protect the mascot's "character and personality:" We wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea about a guy with a sword named "Captain Fear."