How a Noblesville woman made 30K Indy BFFs with "The Bachelorette"
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Members of BFGF Indy gather at a pickleball event. Photo: Courtesy of FrancesMary Loughead
New to the Circle City and seeking community in an era when making contact was a global health concern, Noblesville's FrancesMary Loughead had an idea: Turn total strangers into best friends forever.
The big picture: Forging meaningful connections as an adult in a new city — or an old one — can feel impossible when most Americans don't even know their neighbors.
Catch up quick: A newlywed and fresh college graduate at the time, Loughead planted the seeds of BFF Indy in 2021 after her husband's job relocated them from Chicago to Indianapolis.
- Looking for remote work in an unfamiliar city with no friends or family, she struggled to make meaningful connections beyond her marriage.
- "It was about a year or so that it really took me to be like, I need some solid girlfriends," she told Axios. "I love my husband a lot. But I need my girlfriends, and he needs his guy friends."
Zoom in: Loughead said she tried some of the friendship-finding apps that were popular at the time, but ultimately found them to be a poor fit.
- "It just didn't seem super intentional … you are, for lack of a better term, judging somebody on only a couple sentences and a couple pictures," she said.
Yes, but: While looking online, she noticed a potential unifier among other friendship seekers: a passion for reality TV.
- "My background is events, so I decided, why not try and invite people over and see what happens?" she said.
- So her weekly watch party for ABC's "The Bachelorette" was born. Soon, the women who attended began planning other hangouts.
State of play: That casual meetup has since blossomed into a thriving online and in-person community of more than 30,000 women with events ranging from winery tours and pickleball meetups to Monon walks and dance classes.
- This week alone has nearly a dozen events on the docket, including crafting at Little India, catching an Indians game and a picnic Bible study at 100 Acres Park.
How it works: Loughead, now 26, says the keys to BFF Indy's growth are variety and accessibility.
- Not everyone wants to meet for a night at the bar. And many Hoosiers can't afford to regularly gather for pricey dinners.
Pro tip: Loughead's go-to advice for making friends as an adult is to think like Nike.
- "Just do it. I know a lot of people are worried about being judged or being put down for something they either believe in, or just being a little different or enjoying something different," she said. "I would just say, be strong in who you are and you'll find the right people."
Another tip: Don't let it get you down if someone you reach out to doesn't immediately reach back.
The bottom line: Turning strangers into friends takes work — but it's worth it.
Go deeper: How to find friends in Indianapolis