Happy Friday!

🌤️ Today's weather: Mostly sunny. High around 86, low 66.

🎂 Happy birthday to our member Christopher Kammler, and happy early birthday to members Margie Yeager, Devin Barrett, Liza Talisman and Richard Jaffe!

Today's newsletter is 1,078 words — a 4-minute read.

There's a party happening this weekend at Meridian Hill Park that's BYOB — Bring Your Own Banana.

The big picture: The youths are all about a shindig built around an absurdly niche premise, most of them organized via Partiful.

• Think the recent "eat an apple with me" party that drew hundreds out to Meridian Hill Park.
• Other greatest hits elsewhere include a "Smoke a Cigarette With Me" party that brought 1,500 people together to rip cigs in New York's Washington Square Park, or hundreds gathering to watch a dude in Philly eat a rotisserie chicken.

Why it matters: The premise is almost beside the point. It's a low-stakes excuse to hang out IRL at a time when loneliness is widespread and young people are drinking less.

What they're saying: Elaf Alkazzaz has Invisalign and couldn't eat apples at last month's party — so, naturally, she decided to host her own banana-eating event on Sunday.

• It's taken off: Over 800 people are signed up on Partiful to attend, and Alkazzaz is getting a permit from the city and enlisting volunteers to clean up party debris (aka banana peels).
• And, sure, potassium is great, but Alkazzaz says the event is really about giving Washingtonians a break from the city's usual seriousness. "We live in such a political location that it's kind of hard for us to remember our human connection."

Zack Jarbu, the host of a D.C. party next month centered around being bald, agrees: "People yearn for community. People yearn for meeting strangers in an organic fashion and being around other cool people."

• The event — which Jarbu says he's thinking of renaming "Bald-chella" — has over 100 people interested on Partiful.
• On the lineup: Scalp decor via rhinestones and stickers; bald caps for "allies;" a barber so the "follicly challenged" can take the plunge into full-on baldom; and a bald celeb lookalike contest, says Jarbu.

Zoom in: RSVPs to Partiful gatherings that were "niche and high-concept" grew more than four times between 2024 and 2025, the group told The Atlantic.

• Events like these give people "a low-stakes reason to get off their phones and connect in the real world," a Partiful spokesperson told Axios.

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If you're wondering why D.C.-area traffic feels bonkers-to-bumper right now, you're not alone.

Why it matters: Washington's post-Labor Day traffic is always bad. But commutes have felt so brutal this week that everyone and their political commentators are honking about it on social media.

So, what gives: Blame Congress being back in session? Dupont Circle construction? The Roosevelt Bridge?

• Not so fast (or slow), WTOP traffic expert Dave Dildine tells Axios.

⚡ We're experiencing the "September shock," he says. "It's a well-known phenomenon, but it's poorly understood."

The intrigue: There may actually be less traffic on the roads now than there was this summer.

• Year after year, Dildine says, daily freeway traffic around Washington is typically heaviest June through August.
• But summer travel is spread across longer days, vacations and more flexible schedules.
• Once school and regular office hours resume, those trips get squeezed back into traditional AM/PM rush hours.

Translation: The traffic isn't necessarily multiplying. We're all just hitting the road around the same time.

• Even a 2% increase in traffic during an already packed rush hour can produce a disproportionately nasty backup, Dildine says.

Between the lanes: The geography of gridlock changes, too.

• Summer is "outside the Beltway season," Dildine says, with congestion concentrated on getaway routes like I-95 and toward the Bay Bridge.
• Fall is "inside the Beltway season" — think D.C., Arlington and lower Montgomery County.

Yes, but: Road work is about to pile on.

• The upcoming two-month closure of Waterside Drive on Monday is expected to have "significant impacts," Dildine says.
• And pleasant fall weather means more paving and people out and about. "I always say nice weather, worse traffic."

Brace yourself...

👀 Ovi addressed the pro-Putin party video yesterday at the opening of NHL training camp, telling reporters "I'm Russian and I support my country," and that he plans to live there after retiring. (The Athletic)

🏗️ Trump officials must give 30 days' written notice before making any changes to the Kennedy Center "including but not limited to any 'demolition'" of the main building, a federal judge ruled yesterday. (Axios)

🏟️ Mayor Bowser said yesterday that she plans to introduce legislation this fall to fund a Nationals Park renovation. She didn't provide many details, nor a price tag, but the move comes after she opposed spending $300 million on renovating Audi Field. (Washington Business Journal)

Cuneyt here, after day 3 of Council member Trayon White's bribery trial...

"Trayon is a government official. He never had to take the money. He wouldn't be here right now."

Under questioning, Kamara repeated some version of that many times yesterday.

• White's defense attorney, Gary Kohlman, reminded jurors over and over the admitted misdeeds of the former District contractor (bank fraud, bribery).
• "I made bad decisions," Kamara said. "It's my past."

What's next: Kamara's turn on the witness stand could wrap up tomorrow, before the court plans to return Tuesday.

Michelin just added four D.C. restaurants to its guide — a teaser before the full 2026 awards drop later this year.

Why it matters: The newcomers are now officially Michelin-recommended — and could be in the running for stars or value-minded Bib Gourmand honors when the annual awards are announced.

Driving the news: The new crop is already buzzy, with accolades ranging from James Beard nods to Bon Appétit recognition. They include:

• Rye Bunny (Adams Morgan): Chef Jon Sybert and Jill Tyler's casual successor to their Michelin-starred Tail Up Goat.
• Maison Bar à Vins (Adams Morgan): The Popal Group's chic nouveau-French wine bar led by Lutèce chef Matt Conroy.
• Elcielo Bistró DC (Union Market): A more casual(ish), à la carte spinoff inside Juan Manuel Barrientos' Michelin-starred Colombian restaurant, Elcielo.
• Bar Del Monte (Mount Pleasant): Chef Oliver Pastan's popular neighborhood Italian spot for wood-fired pizzas and seasonal plates.

What we're watching.

🛥️ Anna is WFB (working from boat).

🍻 Mimi is checking out the Oktoberfest event at Gustave's this weekend.

🍕 Cuneyt is going to roll the dice on getting a table at La Merna.

Today's newsletter was edited by Alexa Mencia Orozco.