Indianapolis gets roasted by ChatGPT
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Illustration: Sarah Grillo/Axios
We think Indianapolis has more than enough to put its "naptown" history to bed, but it's still prime material for a roast.
Why it matters: We were worried our readers would be sad with us out of town this week, so we asked ChatGPT to roast Indy in hopes that it might put a smile on your faces.
The big picture: The idea came from an Instagram reel of someone asking the AI chatbot to pretend it's a comedian and roast the people of a city.
- Our Axios colleagues in Philadelphia and Seattle gave it a shot, with hilarious results.
Ouch: ChatGPT immediately hit us where it hurts.
- "Ah, Indianapolis! The city so exciting, it makes watching paint dry look like a roller coaster."
- "I mean, if Indianapolis were a movie, it'd be rated 'G' for 'Great for a nap.' It's the kind of place where the most thrilling thing to do is argue about which chain restaurant has the best breadsticks."
🐷 First, it came for our food culture.
- "But, hey, Indianapolis has some great food. You've got those pork tenderloin sandwiches that are so big, they come with their own ZIP code!"
- "Just when you think you've finished, you realize it's a family meal for six!"
🏎️ Then it went after the Indianapolis 500. Which, how dare it?
- "It's the only race where the biggest excitement is the sheer number of cars that have to go around in circles."
- "It's like watching someone play Monopoly for 500 laps — sure, it's a lot of movement, but in the end, no one's really going anywhere!"
🌦️ Yes, but: It's hard to disagree with ChatGPT's take on the weather.
- "It's like Mother Nature's a big fan of roller coasters. One minute, you're sweating like a sinner in church, and the next, it's snowing like she's trying to cover up last night's sins."
Finally, it was back to our apparent boredom.
- "Indianapolis is like the small-town hero who never left home and still manages to be the hometown champ."
- "Keep being you, Indy. Never change, because clearly, you're already a master at that!"
The bottom line: Don't worry, friends. This is the first and only time we let AI write the newsletter.