Why I changed my mind about parenting and Santa
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Illustration: Brendan Lynch/Axios
My anti-Santa stance melted like Frosty in my driveway.
- "I don't think Santa can get down our chimney. There's a cap on it," my troubled son, Felix, told me, looking up at the roof.
Why it matters: Sigh. My son is 4. Prime Santa age.
Driving the news: He didn't know what Christmas was at 1.
- He didn't care about Santa at 2.
- He showed minimal interest at 3, so we tested a "Santa" gift as a tradition without a mythical giver.
- Now? He's obsessed with the particulars of Santa's life and activities and how our home's architecture might present unnecessary barriers to important business.
Between the lines: I don't want to lie to my kid about Santa and my wife is neutral.
- Like many guilt-addled millennial parents, I exaggerate the effects of every decision.
What they're saying: Researchers have found little evidence to suggest believing in Santa causes harm.
- "We've seen a small number who reported that they were absolutely devastated finding out about it, and they felt like their trust (in) their parents was shaken. This was very rare," University of Texas at Dallas psychologist Candice Mills told author Melinda Wenner Moyer for her parenting newsletter.
Flashback: Felix already has confronted devastating feelings on a more challenging topic: death.
- He lost a grandpa two years ago and has lost two elderly cats this year.
- He started talking about death constantly this fall, going through a period where he told friends that they — and their parents — are going to die.
Threat level: 💔
What we're watching: Just a few weeks after the worst of that phase, Santa became the big topic at school.
- Felix thinks Santa is going to need a sleigh as big as our "whole house."
- Felix, the problem solver. Santa's advocate.
The other side of the Santa lie: This is … joy. This is good. This is sweet and healthy.
The bottom line: Your children seem safe from hearing about death from my son, for now.
- My son is safe from losing Santa to his dad, the Grinch.