New nonprofit wants to help dads cope with loss
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Stripped of nearly everything of value, including most of its siding, the abandoned house on Purdum Street in Kokomo doesn't look like much, but Derico Young can see its future.
- The outside will be red and pink — his daughter Derisha's favorite colors — and the inside will be a place for fathers like him who've lost their children to gun violence.
Driving the news: Young is starting a nonprofit grief group for fathers who have lost children to violence, filling a void he found after his daughter was shot and killed in Indianapolis two years ago.
- Derisha Young had just turned 21 when she was found dead in the passenger seat of a car on the southeast side.
- No one has been charged in the crime.
Why it matters: Gun violence has become the leading cause of death among children, teens and young adults, leaving many parents grappling with the loss of a child.
- While groups have cropped up to connect grieving mothers, fathers have fewer resources.
Between the lines: Heather Servaty-Seib, Purdue University professor in counseling and development, said grief groups are often built around talking about feelings, the stereotypical view of working through loss and mourning.
- That tends to better suit women, she said, but many people cope differently.
Catch up fast: After Derisha's death, Young participated in support groups offered by the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department — the agency investigating her murder — and a funeral home that helped with her services.
Yes, but: He wasn't finding what he needed.
- "Nobody had words for me," he said. "Nobody knew what to say."
What happened next: Young reached out to two friends who'd also lost their children to gun violence, suggesting they start their own group for grieving fathers.
- They considered renting meeting space in public buildings, but Young said he wanted somewhere grieving fathers would feel comfortable speaking freely and not pressed for time.
The latest: Recently, he learned that an abandoned house in his neighborhood was headed for tax sale and offered to pay the tax bill if the owner would sign it over.
- Young is still navigating his way through grief and anger but said the project has helped him begin to channel some of that toward a greater purpose.
- He's calling the nonprofit Ree-Ree's Place, after the nickname he had for Derisha.
- The house needs to be gutted, and he's begun demolition on the first floor with hopes to start holding meetings by the end of summer.
What they're saying: "It's needed," said Harvey Lenoir, a friend of Young's who has been helping with the renovation.
- Lenoir's son was shot and killed a few months after Derisha, and he said he could've used a group like this.
- "Somebody's story will help somebody else," he said.
What's next: Young is hosting a barbecue fundraiser this weekend to raise $5,000.
- He estimates the project will cost around $10,000 total in the first year for construction materials and to pay off the back taxes.
- Eventually, he'd like to finish the entire house, fence in the yard to provide a place for kids to play while their parents attend meetings and open the space to other groups.
If you go: Ree-Ree's Place, 819 N. Purdum St., Kokomo. Meals will start at $12 and be available to purchase from 10am-9pm Saturday or until food runs out.
- Meal options include fish, chicken legs, rib tips and sides, including grilled corn, french fries, coleslaw and pasta salad.
- Donations can be made at the event or digitally via Cash App and Venmo.
- $ReeReesPlace on Cash App; @ReeReesPlace on Venmo.