Metro Detroit churches' acceptance of same-sex marriage still ambiguous
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Bishop Bonnie Perry of the Episcopal Diocese of Michigan is the first woman and out lesbian to hold her position. She's pictured speaking during a recent anti-gun violence press conference. Photo: Courtesy of Todd Nissen
Overseeing same-sex marriages has gone from stunningly unique to commonplace for Bishop Bonnie Perry, the first lesbian priest elected to oversee the Episcopal Diocese of Michigan.
Why it matters: Some Christian denominations have become increasingly accepting of same-sex marriages since they were federally legalized nearly a decade ago. But it remains unclear how many churches are willing to perform the ceremonies in Metro Detroit, according to experts and religious leaders interviewed by Axios.
- Congregations' allowance, or lack thereof, can indicate their wider stance on LGBTQ+ issues.
Between the lines: Acceptance is not black-and-white. Denominations' views vary — as do those of churches within them, leading to deep schisms within denominations like Presbyterians, Baptists and the United Methodist Church.
- Thousands of churches chose to leave United Methodist within the last couple years, including 17% of churches leaving the Methodist Michigan Conference, or 119 total, according to a spokesperson.
- Various individual congregations and their clergy members may also disagree on the issue, making acceptance hard to define, says Rev. Roland Stringfellow, the senior pastor of the LGBTQ+-focused Metropolitan Community Church of Detroit.
- The Catholic Church and some others still will not perform same-sex weddings.
Clergy who Perry oversees have the right to decide who they are comfortable marrying. But there are just a "few" in the diocese of around 125 who aren't comfortable with same-sex marriages, she says. In those cases, clergy members must assure couples still have access to marriage through another priest.
- Perry and her spouse were married around seven years ago — though not in a church, merely for personal reasons, she says.
- She is a longtime advocate and performed her first same-sex blessing in the early 1990s.
By the numbers: There were nearly 18,000 married same-sex households in Michigan as of 2022 — 63% of total same-sex couple households, per Census Bureau data.
- That's up from just 36% of same-sex households married as of 2015, the year same-sex marriage bans were ruled unconstitutional.
State of play: Tim Retzloff, an LGBTQ+ historian and adjunct professor with MSU, says any estimate he made about how many churches officiate same-sex marriages would be "pure speculation."
- Churches in the Episcopal Diocese of Michigan have been progressive for decades and performing same-sex marriages since 2015, Perry tells Axios.
- The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America's Southeast Michigan Synod has long been supportive, voting in 1992 to take on a designation welcoming LGBTQ+ people.
- The United Methodist Church voted in May to lift its ban on officiating same-sex weddings. But local churches can't be required to perform them.
- Triumph Church, with locations across Metro Detroit, is among those that believe marriage is between one man and one woman, according to its website.
Zoom in: Stringfellow, a gay Indiana native with a fundamentalist Baptist upbringing, moved to Metro Detroit more than a decade ago from California and found an overall less accepting religious environment in the Midwest than on the coast.
- Stringfellow is also board president for interfaith LGBTQ+ coalition Inclusive Justice and created a curriculum designed for Black faith audiences to "facilitate safe, nonthreatening dialogue" around divisions over LGBTQ+ issues.
- When he speaks about acceptance before various congregations, Stringfellow says he always talks about his own struggle, "trying to be who I was not" and then finding peace as someone with "a heart for God."
The other side: A spokesperson for the Archdiocese of Detroit declined to comment to Axios for this story.
- But a local chaplain weighed in on the subject in a Q&A last year on the Detroit Catholic news site: "Of course, we should make it clear that we recognize everyone's inherent dignity, but it's essential to avoid approving or seeming to approve of things that are clearly wrong, including … attempts at marriage between two people of the same sex."
Back in 2014, per a Pew Research Center study on religion, 46% of Metro Detroit Christians were in favor of same-sex marriage, versus 48% against. And 53% said homosexuality "should be accepted," versus 39% for discouraged.
- This is the most recent data from Pew on the subject.
What they're saying: "It matters for the queer world to say, 'You matter, you are fully welcomed, you are entitled to all of God's graces' … the sin of the church in denying you before needs to be acknowledged, lamented and repented," Perry says of same-sex wedding ceremonies.
- It's "stunning" to witness, she adds.
Go deeper: Moments in Metro Detroit LGBTQ+ religious history