What Des Moines' infamous Froot Loops pizza actually tastes like

People like to make unoriginal jabs about our corn, but sometimes, we deserve to be made fun of. Exhibit A: Froot Loops Pizza.

The backdrop: It started when Fong's Pizza, known for its creative concoctions, announced on Facebook that it was launching breakfast items, including "The Loopy Fruit Pizza."

• For $20, you can purchase a 16" pizza, topped with cream cheese, mozzarella cheese, vanilla icing and Froot Loops at Fong's on Forest.
• The Register tweeted a picture of the pizza in all its glory, and it was absolutely ratioed.

Because I can't help myself, yes, I tried it. My take:

• The moment I welcomed the pizza box into my car, the familiar aromatics of greasy cardboard filled the vehicle, but dare I say — there was a fruity scent as well.
• In the first bite, there was a crunch from the cracker-thin crust and a tangy-dairy taste from the mozzarella.

Then I reached the Froot Loops.

• They had a strangely nostalgic taste and texture. The colorful cereal bits were slightly moist, like a bowl of cereal that's been sitting out.
• The colors bled similarly to the colorful milk you drank as a kid, but well ... it was rainbow-blotched cheese instead.
• As a fan of "The Princess Diaries," I definitely tried M&M's on pizza growing up. This tasted exactly like that — greasy cheese and candy.

The conclusion: This is literally just cheese pizza and Froot Loops.

• It's a result of Instagram's influence on our culinary cuisines, so I'm happy to stick with my Fong's fave: Crab Rangoon.

This story first appeared in the Axios Des Moines newsletter, designed to help readers get smarter, faster on the most consequential news unfolding in their own backyard.

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