Being single is expensive
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I’ve spent most of the last seven years in committed relationships. Now ten months into being a swinging bachelor, I’ve learned a few things. For example:
- People’s Market is a perfect first date spot for breakfast, lunch, happy hour, or dinner.
- Dating apps can be annoying, but they’re my favorite way to date.
- CMS might be ruining the dating pool by overworking their teachers.
But the biggest impact being single has had is on my wallet.
Being single is a bill, and one of my most expensive ones.
Along with my rent, car payment, and student loans, I spend hundreds extra every month on the expense of being single. I don’t know if it’s Charlotte specific, or if it’s part of being in the “marry first, ask questions later” Bible Belt.
Society isn’t set up for singles.
It occurs to me that people in long-term relationships don’t realize all the expenses that come with being on your own, especially if you’re active in the city. I know I didn’t.
High rent hits singles twice as hard.
Affordable rent is a huge problem in this city. It’s even bigger when you’re living on your own.
The average rent in Charlotte is about $1200 a month. That’s about $600 per person when you’re shacking up with your partner. For two people with full time jobs, that’s not too bad.
If you’re living on a single income, the pressure to find a house is even harder.
And it’s not just rent. It’s utilities as well. The arrangement between my ex and I saw her pay for internet, cable, electricity, and Amazon Prime while I paid for water, gas, Netflix, and YouTube TV.
That’s nearly a $1,000 per month swing on my housing costs.
Grocery shopping is basically choosing how much of your food you can afford to let go bad.
I’m one guy with no kids and an active social life. There is no reason why I need an entire loaf of bread, a half-gallon of unsweetened almond milk, or a party sized bag of tortilla chips.
Most of my snacks go stale before I can finish them. I have to store bread in the refrigerator just to stave off molding as long as I can. My meats get freezer burn before I can finish them.
Smaller, less expensive portions would make financial planning a lot easier for single millennials. These are in short supply in Charlotte when it comes to staple items.
Buying groceries instead of eating out only saves you money if you have time to eat your food before it rots. $70 a week at Harris Teeter with a chunk of it wasted isn’t that much cheaper than $25 at the bar a few nights a week.
And dating is expensive.
I’m not interesting in hanging out, grabbing coffee, or Netflix and chilling. I go on dates. Real dates. Dinner. Drinks. Activities.
That’s not cheap.
The best first date I went on recently involved drinks and appetizers at The Manchester, then downstairs to 1812 for a post-dinner cocktail, all after getting a fresh cut from my boy Bubba at the Man Cave barbershop.
It was easily a $150 dollar night. I don’t mean that as a flex, but compare that to a quiet night in with your partner talking about nannies or taxes or whatever it is married people discuss.
[Agenda related guide: 50 Charlotte date night ideas that clock in at $20 and under]
Don’t forget about the professional stigmas of singleness.
In my first job after college, my supervisor explicitly told me I would be expected to take on more responsibility, stay at work later, and be more flexible with my time. Why? Because I wasn’t married yet.
It hasn’t changed since then.
The needs of married people are seen as more important than the needs of single people. Coming in late, leaving early, and working from home all seem more acceptable for married employees.
Singles are the first to be laid off, first to have our hours cut, and the last to get promotions and raises. Single men and women will make less over their lifetime than their married counterparts. And it’s not just my imagination.
Just because I don’t have a wife, doesn’t mean my time is less valuable.
Just because I only have to support myself, doesn’t mean I deserve to make less money.
It’s not sour grapes. I’m single because I choose it and enjoy it. But that shouldn’t open me up to a whole world of financial problems.
[Agenda related dating guides: 50 cheap dates, micro-weddings, hottest dating apps, prenups, most romantic restaurants, wedding venues and all dating guides]