Wanted: Chief small talk officers. Awkward applicants welcome
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Some people don't like to make small talk. Others — especially younger Americans— say they simply don't know how to do it.
Why it matters: A communication-skills app is betting that a baptism by fire in small talk can help rebuild social confidence — and it's hiring people to approach strangers to put that theory to the test.
Driving the news: RiseGuide is hiring Chief Small Talk Officers — recently rebranded from Head of Hanging Out to stress the seriousness of the assignment.
- The monthlong gig pays each of up to three hires $2,000, plus a budget for outings to parks, bookstores and fitness classes, where they'll strike up conversations with strangers.
- Officers will rate their small talk skills before and after the assignment, with regular check-ins to assess their interactions. They'll also track conversation lengths and strangers' receptiveness, Anastasia Sliusarenko, RiseGuide's brand and reputation manager, tells Axios.
- "I'm personally rooting for applicants who kind of feel socially awkward," she says, because their improvement could be more noticeable. She acknowledges the irony of using an app to combat screen time, but says the ultimate goal is for users to "get off the app" and practice their skills in real life.
What they're saying: "We actually know from research that something like social confidence can actually be trained... it's not a personality trait," Laura Berssenbrugge, a therapist who specializes in working with Gen Z and Gen Alpha, tells Axios.
- Social confidence doesn't have to look like the loudest extrovert in the room, Berssenbrugge adds. "That can be social confidence for them. Ours might look a little bit different, and that is absolutely okay."
The big picture: Smartphones and personalized digital feeds may be changing how Americans find common ground and navigate conversations with strangers.
- Earlier generations often shared cultural reference points, from limited TV channels to major sporting events, that offered easy conversation starters. Today's algorithms instead feed people niche interests, reducing opportunities for common ground.
- Phones also offer an easy escape from awkward interactions, potentially reducing opportunities to practice face-to-face conversation.
Zoom in: Even bars, once natural gathering places for spontaneous conversations, aren't immune to the shift, D.C.-area bartender Matty Pivec tells Axios.
- "If you're sitting at a bar, you kind of naturally fall into place of talking to the person next to you... If you have your phone while you're waiting for the bartender, it's much easier to avoid that."
- "It's become more of a chore than kind of a pleasant surprise to be able to hold a conversation with a stranger," he says, adding, "I think it's kind of a dying thing to go out and meet strangers."
- John Lemay, a 14-year veteran bartender at D.C.-area bar Spider Kelly's, partly blames dating apps: "Why would you engage in conversation with somebody [at a bar] if you can just check those boxes and wham, your perfect date pops up," he says.
Between the lines: Avoiding strangers might spare people the anxiety of appearing awkward or "cringe," but it also cuts them off from the psychological benefits of casual interactions.
- Psychologist Ellen Hendriksen points to a study of Chicago rush hour commuters that found those who interacted with strangers reported more positive experiences than those who kept to themselves.
- Many "underestimated how much they were going to enjoy that," she says.
The bottom line: The goal isn't to become an extrovert. It's to get comfortable with the discomfort of striking up conversations with strangers.
Go deeper: Birding, silent book club, Mahjong and more: America's meetup explosion
