Axios Finish Line: The case for selfishly managing time

OK, trying a new thing here: Answering a very specific question from an avid Finish Line reader. (Listen, I'm going to run out of ideas eventually, so I need all the help I can get, folks.)

Lisa Calicchio, chief human capital management officer at WCG, writes from New Jersey:

• "Expand on your comment 'I'm ruthless with my time.' Working remotely quite a bit, my husband can't help but overhear some conversations. His consistent feedback to me: 'You are too generous with your time.' I agree — and I pay dearly for it with respect to work-life balance."

 Lisa was responding to my comment that I wouldn't mentor someone if I felt the mentee wasn't benefiting meaningfully.

• Why it matters: I'm both blessed to mostly control my time and a little nutty in how I carry this out.

A few things I've noticed by studying others who seem to get a lot done and live well:

1. Sleep. The data is unambiguous: Most of us require seven or more hours of quality sleep to think clearly and perform optimally. This might mean ducking out early from work dinners, quitting movies before they're done, or telling the kids it's bedtime earlier than they like.

• I'm routinely made fun of at home for ghosting around 9:30 p.m. (or earlier).

2. Working out. Here's another good place to be selfish. I know I'm grumpier and foggier if I don't exercise at least one hour each day. So I put this ahead of casual lunches or non-urgent meetings or small talk (more on this in a second).

• Sorry, I refuse to believe most people couldn't carve out 30 to 60 minutes per day if they prioritized it.

3. Meetings. Most meetings could or should be half their scheduled time.

• Every few months, I review mine to make sure I thin the number and duration. Can this one be an email or quick call? Can this be eliminated altogether? Most one-offs can be done in 10 minutes if you plunge right in.
• Just because TV shows are 30 or 60 minutes doesn't mean meetings should be. This means cutting down on small talk at the top. Save it for parties and downtime.

4. "Me" time. I suck at work-life balance. Most of my waking hours are spent working or thinking about work. But I'm ruthless about carving out time for things that light me up: family, fly fishing, shanking golf balls, wandering Maine — often in spurts.

5. Good people. Few things pump more energy and joy than time with smart, optimistic, good people. The opposite is true too: Few things sap energy and joy than dullards, pessimists or jerks.

• Regularly review the time you spend with life-enhancing vs. life-sucking people.

6. Just say no. Lisa's problem is the most common one: She's too generous!

• Not sure advocating selfishness is popular — but a little selfishness goes a long way.

• This is where ruthlessness can help: Can I truly make a difference with this person or problem? Is this something that seems to recur regularly but never resolve? Is this filling my life with too much negative energy or emotion? It's OK to say "no."
• The way to rightfully justify it: You'll be worse at helping others if you're constantly drained or deflated.

💭 Jim will consider your question if it's very specific, and if you include your name, job title and city. Just hit "reply" to this email, or drop him a line: [email protected].

This article appeared in Axios Finish Line, our nightly newsletter on life, leadership and wellness. Sign up here.