There's an official term — "boomerasking" — for one of the most annoying conversation fails:

• Someone asks you a question. When you've barely answered, they boomerang the conversation and start talking about themselves — usually one-upping whatever you managed to say.

Why it matters: In any conversation or relationship, pay attention to how much you're on "transmit," and how much you're on "receive."

Alison Wood Brooks — a Harvard Business School professor, and author of "Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves," out last week — gave this A+ example in a piece she wrote for the Wall Street Journal (free link):

A colleague approaches and asks, "Hey, what are you up to this weekend?" You tell her you're not sure, but nothing big. She replies with her own vivid plans. "I'm going to my lake house, and we're having a massive bonfire," or "I'm going to a medieval fair to use the trebuchet I made."

Between the lines: "What seemed like a genuine expression of interest in you suddenly shifts and becomes a chance for your colleague to brag, complain or simply share about herself," Brooks writes.

• "As humans, we focus persistently on our own perspective, a trait that helps us survive but also undermines our dealings with others."

💡 A better way: Mike likes this advice from a few years ago in Smarter Living, a former newsletter of the New York Times. You'll be more interesting if you're more interested.

• "Channel your inner Oprah," Morra Aarons-Mele, author of "The Anxious Achiever," told the Times. "If you ... ask questions and listen and draw people out, they'll think you're a great conversationalist."

👓 Pro tip: People like to talk about themselves, but they don't want to feel like they're being interviewed. So give a little, then get a lot!

The bottom line: If you're talking, you ain't learning. And you just might be annoying.

• Go deeper: Read Chapter 1 of Alison Wood Brooks' book, "Talk."

With the U.S. Capitol and Washington Monument in the background, people walk and skate on the ice-covered Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool on the National Mall yesterday.