Growing older is a gift, and if you're hitting a new decade — 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and beyond — it's often an occasion for an extra big bash, trip or other event with your closest people, Natalie Daher writes.

• The big picture: Each decade comes with its own stereotypes about aging and which "adult markers" should have been achieved. But as people delay typical milestones like marriage, homeownership and children, approaching a summit like the 40th birthday is also changing.

It can be about honoring those big life events, but it might also be more tailored to what you want to celebrate, whether that's friendships, personal achievements or future goals.

💡 "Milestone birthdays mark the passage from one decade to another, but they also serve as a sort of release valve," The New York Times' Melissa Kirsch wrote over the weekend.

• "What have I done with my time thus far? What do I want to do with the time to come? ... What am I thankful for? Beyond the pleasures and gifts and close calls and lucky breaks, can I admit the painful experiences into that anthology?" Kirsch writes.

In a recent piece for The Cut, Ann Friedman writes about the "40th-birthday trip." She interviews women who've gone everywhere from Los Angeles and Sedona to Croatia to mark the milestone.

• In only five decades, the tone of 40 has changed dramatically from what then-40-year–old journalist Gail Sheehy described in 1976: "A sense of stagnation, disequilibrium, and depression is predictable as we enter the passage to midlife."

🌴 Now, based on Friedman's accounts, the calculus at 40 isn't as simple as checking "life boxes." For women who do have domestic and caregiving responsibilities or demanding careers, it's also a chance to cut loose or have grounding conversations.

• "By 40, you've made it through so many baby showers and wedding parties, you're ready to celebrate yourself — and be celebrated," Friedman writes.
• The celebration might also be "determined by your income, your region, your personal values. It depends on whom you're comparing yourself to, how your past few decades of adulthood have unfolded, what you still hope to achieve."

Between the lines: The year preceding the big birthday has its own qualities, as an anticipatory moment filled with "pent-up energy," Kirsch writes.

• People nearing a new decade have also taken to making and sharing bucket lists, like 30 things they want to tackle before 30.
• Those lists might include picking up a new skill, solo travel, attending a big festival or paying off debt— or something more abstract like learning to forgive.

🔔 Natalie's thought bubble: For my 30th birthday two years ago, I planned an overnight trip with 14 friends to my home city of Philadelphia for dinner and hanging out in an Airbnb.

• The entire year leading up to it featured other friends' 30th birthdays. We all felt especially grateful for community, excited for the future and frankly relieved to exit our 20s.
• I've already envisioned a dinner party with my nearest and dearest when I'm 40.

🥳 Are you nearing a milestone birthday? Tell us about it at [email protected] — make sure to include your name and hometown!

As we transition into fall, here's a throwback summer shot from reader Pete Larkin.

• "My wife and I joined a couple of friends from Roanoke, Va., to celebrate the Fourth of July in the first town in the first state — beautiful Lewes, Del.," Pete writes. "This is a photo of sunrise on America's 249th birthday."