D.C. is seeing a growing interest in nonmonogamous relationships

What's happening: More daters are open to polyamory, surveys suggest. One major factor that led to this moment: the pandemic.

• An already increased interest in nonmonogamy grew during lockdown when people had more time to consider their sexual identities and what they wanted out of relationships, says Ana Kirova, CEO of sex-positive dating app Feeld.

By the numbers: Although there's limited data on the prevalence of polyamory — and surveys differ in the way they ask about relationship preferences.— there seems to be an uptick in openness to polyamory.

• 31% of D.C. singles surveyed last year by Match have been in "a consensually nonmonogamous relationship" before, the company tells Axios.
• 32% of this year's D.C. OkCupid users said they'd consider an open relationship, compared to 27% in 2014, the company tells Axios.
• Feeld's seen an over 500% increase over the last three years in the number of D.C. app users including the terms "ethically non-monogamous" and "polyamorous" in their profiles, according to the group.

Be smart: Polyamory is not the same as polygamy.

• Polygamy is a relationship structure where one person is married to multiple spouses, and the relationships are often patriarchal and rooted in religious fundamentalism. Meanwhile, polyamory is a relationship structure where there are multiple partners, and typically the relationships are non-hierarchical and consensual.
• "Ethical nonmonogamy" is more of an umbrella term for sex or relationships where there's consent with multiple partners.

Yes, but: There's a harmful stigma around forms of consensual nonmonogamy, and also limited laws protecting and supporting people in these relationships.

• Unlike gender, race, or sexual orientation, relationship structure isn't among the categories typically protected when it comes to housing and work.
• Being polyamorous can also be a barrier in child custody cases.

Zoom in: While laws protecting polyamorous relationships have been passed in Massachusetts, these partnerships aren't recognized in D.C.

• There have likely been instances where more than two local people adopted children together, according to D.C. lawyer Jonathan Lane, but it's not explicitly permitted or prohibited under D.C. law.

However, there are several local meetups, groups, and events for polyamorous people, including a monthly polyamory discussion hosted by the D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center.

• Kitty Chambliss, an Alexandria relationship coach who specializes in the polyamorous community and identifies as poly, also hosts a community group and workshops.
• While some of Chambliss' local clients aren't out due to social stigmas and the area's political nature, she's worked with folks from across the DMV.

Zoom out: Perceptions about polyamory have evolved, but there are still many misconceptions about it in a society that has long prioritized monogamous marriage.

• As care communities have gotten smaller and marriages have evolved from being primarily an economic contract to a relationship more about love and even the pursuit of self-actualization, more people are recognizing that one spouse can't meet all of their needs, says Heath Schechinger, co-founder of Modern Family Institute and the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Some of those people are turning to polyamory.
• For the record: Polyamorous relationships are typically not just about sex. "[It's] multiple loving relationships with the consent and understanding of everyone involved," says Chambliss.
• That said, polyamory isn't the answer for everyone, particularly not for those trying to "save" their primary relationship, says sex educator Emily Nagoski.

What's next: Chambliss believes the practice of and interest in nonmonogamy will continue expanding, thanks to people living longer and younger generations' fluid approach to sexuality.

• "There will be more acceptance, more awareness, more positive curiosity around people choosing to live their lives in a way that works for them."