Pennsylvania's banned vanity plates are comedy gold
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Illustration: Brendan Lynch/Axios
Pennsylvania, U-FNNY-AF.
Why it matters: Call us vainglorious, but Pennsylvanians are getting more creative with new, crass catchphrases to put on our vanity plates.
The big picture: The state's most recent banned plate list has grown to more than 4,500 entries, up from roughly 2,000 in 2023.
- Entries reflect political machinations, pop culture references, and a taste for the tawdry.
How it works: Rules, rules, rules. (More like Vanity Unfair, right?) The state has a whole list of them, but basically you can't include sexual innuendo, profanity, scat references (grow up, everyone) or things that'll confuse law enforcement or make you seem like you're a cop.
Here are some of the rejected submissions that caught our eye:
- JAG-OFF1, JAGG-OFF, JAGGOFF, JAGG0FF, JAGOF, JAGOFF, JAGOFFS, JAG0FF, JAG0FF1, Y1NZR AF: The fact that these were rejected makes us an "ANGRY B."
- PITTSUX: Go back to Morgantown.
- POTUS47, F-ELON, EF ELON: One Pennsylvanian's political tribute is another's insult.
The drawback: It's very easy to read it as "FELON."
- NOMAMES: A Spanish slang term to express surprise ... and something you mutter under your breath when the PennDOT clerk tells you that you can't put it on your plate.
- FITFO: Apparently, this stands for "Figure it the f--k out." We just did.
- DO CRIME: Are traffic stops your love language?
- FWAGON: Keep your mind out of the G-utter, folks.
- UZAHO: AKA E-ZPass' licentious cousin. Get it, or is that too subtle?
- GOVNA: That's Mr. Shapiro to you, bloke.
- PENNDOT: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Yes, but: No, you can't.
- HAK TUAH, HAKTUAH, HAWK TUA, HAWK TUAH, HAWK 2AA, HAWK 2AH, HAWK 2UH, HAWKTOA, HA2AH: Hailey Welch, aka the Hawk Tuah Girl, has inspired Pennsylvanians to try every possible iteration of what the New York Times politely called an "onomatopoeia for the sound Ms. Welch made to simulate a sex act."
- H8 KIDS: You and every other pandemic parent.

