May 12, 2023 - News
Giving props to single moms this Mother's Day
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Deirdra & her son against the world! Photo: Courtesy of Monica McGivern
👋 Deirdra here, offering solidarity with single moms for Mother's Day.
Why it matters: Miami-Dade County has 58,035 households with single women and kids under 18, according to census data.
- Yet single moms report feeling invisible.
- And the "singles tax" means necessities, especially housing, are priced for couples — 0ne parent with one child needs at least $65,370 annually to live modestly here, per a family budget calculator from the Economic Policy Institute.
Context: My partner died overseas when our son was one. My parents passed around the same time, leaving me with a toddler and no family nearby.
- I struggled to find decent day care and was shocked to find it cost nearly $1,000 per month.
- Only when I experienced single parenthood myself did I realize its other challenges: career paths I couldn't pursue, middle-of-the-night ER visits without support, holidays alone — all while putting on a brave face at work.
How I survived: A few amazing friends.
- Grief counseling and medical leave.
- Social Security survivors' benefits.
- Extended breastfeeding.
- Got health insurance through Obamacare and Medicaid after being laid off (journalism!).
- Swore off sad music and strictly listened to party jams. As a wise man (Pitbull) once said, "Every day above ground is a great day, remember that!"
- Only watched comedies.
- Lost interest in dating for a long time. (Men only seemed useful as potential babysitters who might play with my kid for two hours so I could go to the gym!)
Yes, but: Now my son and I are thick as thieves.
- I know many people are managing parenthood with harder jobs and lower pay.
- To the 10,721 single dads in Miami — I see you, too! Everyone is going through something.
What's next: I often think single moms could be an incredible force for good if we could harness our collective power.
- I'm too tired right now to rise up and lead us, but when this kid is off to college, watch out!
If you're struggling: I promise it gets easier.