Sep 13, 2021 - Culture

10 Charlotte neighborhoods as Real Housewives taglines

While catching up on the Real Housewives of Potomac, I was inspired to take on the hard-hitting journalistic task of giving Charlotte neighborhoods their own housewives taglines.

These are made in good fun, with the help of my fellow pop culture connoisseurs and esteemed colleagues Emma and Paige.

Background: If you’re completely unfamiliar with Real Housewives taglines, here’s a primer and the SNL parody.

Don’t hate me because I’m expensive, hate me because I don’t have any parking.

I never feel guilty being this expensive and cute.

Sweetie, it’s not just a rebrand, it’s a revolution.

I need to give my publicist a raise. You can’t keep my name out of your mouth.

All this change is going to cost a pretty penny.

Being this cool is an art.

I’m the crown jewel of the Queen City, honey.

I may be old money but my G Wagon is brand new.

These trendy ’hoods are cute, but they’ll never outlast a classic.

They say I’m bland, but I’m seasoned with cash.

Honey, don’t sleep on this, I’ll school you.