7 things that extroverted introverts like myself wish you understood

We’re chatty enough that we can pass for full-on extroverts when we want to, but our sudden and immediate need to lounge on the couch and watch Netflix when we’ve hit our socializing limit is distinctly introverted. If you’ve got an extroverted introvert in your life, we require you to handle us with care, please and thanks.

Here’s what you need to know about us.

(1) My socialization abilities have a time limit, and that limit varies from situation to situation.

A networking event where I know no one? I’m probably going to end up ducking out early.

A birthday party for a friend where I know people? Sure, I’ll hop from brewery to brewery.

(2) Yes, I left the event without saying goodbye. It’s nothing personal. 

If I told you I was leaving, we’d have been forced to have a whole back and forth about why I shouldn’t leave and I’d get guilted into staying an extra hour when I really need to decompress at home.

I promise nothing happened that made me want to leave. This is just who I am as a person.

(3) I love spending time with people, but need to plan my schedule carefully.

Extroverted introverts love socializing, and we’re actually good at making new friends, contrary to popular belief.

But we have to be very aware of how often we’re out and about, otherwise we end up hitting the wall.

If I’m doing stuff on Friday and Saturday, don’t count me in for Sunday brunch.

(4) We’re not big into unnecessary small talk.

If you’re calling us for work purposes, don’t be offended when we want to dive right in, tackle the task at hand, and move on.

(5) Yes, I know I gave a speech or hosted an event. I’m still introverted at my core.

“Wait a minute,” extroverts will wonder out loud, “You gave a presentation in front of 300 people! You’re not introverted!”

Right, but after that speech I came home and had to nap for an hour afterward to recharge. Balance.

(6) Things that excite normal people intimidate me.

It’ll be great to celebrate with you at your bachelorette party, but I feel overwhelmed by the idea of a weekend packed with scheduled activities done mostly with people I don’t really know.

If I had my preference, I’d be hanging out with you and just a couple of our other close friends.

(7) We shudder when someone next to us on the plane sits down and says, “So! What do you do?”

Full-on extroverts don’t mind making small talk for an entire three-hour flight.

Extroverted introverts would rather walk to our destination.