Blind Date: Katie and Andy, who had plenty in common but lacked chemistry

Welcome to Blind Date, the Agenda’s blind date series.

This is the latest in a multi-part series in which I match single Charlotteans of all ages.

Applicants sent me a few details on things like their views on politics, religion and marriage and trusted me to send them on a true blind date.

Those selected don’t know anything about their date except the essentials – name, age and one thing that I thought would make them a good match. They don’t even get to see a picture.

After sifting through over 1,100 applicants, I set aside several pairs and, based on their survey answers, set up a date I thought they’d enjoy.

Next up: Katie and Andy, both 30-year-olds with an appreciation for the city’s food and drink, love for their dogs (Trudy and Rudy) and being outside.

Katie works in the media scope who enjoys exploring the food and drink scene, hanging out at Freedom Park and walking her dog. While she describes herself as spontaneous, she thinks her best friend would go with a funny, 50% party, 50% lazy wine aficionado.

Andy is in the finance world and works to train, coach and foster his team’s growth. In his free time, he enjoys spending time at the Whitewater Center, brewery hopping and taking his dog to Romare Bearden and Freedom parks.

The likeness in their responses when it came to their favorite activities, bars and restaurants (Tyber Creek was listed as a favorite by both), music (country), Charlotte neighborhood (Dilworth) and favorite Netflix binges (The Office is a repeat staple for both) made for a perfect match on paper.

Since they both prefer a bar or brewery atmosphere with a round of games and people watching, we sent them to Hoppin’ for a few drinks and music bingo. Here’s how it went.

How do you feel about the dating scene in Charlotte? And if you’re in it, how are you meeting people?

Katie: I date here and there. I wouldn’t say a lot, but I do go on dates here and there.

I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad dating scene, but I think a lot of people that are here are already in relationships. I know, even in my group, there’s a handful of us that are single, but everyone else is either married or in a longterm relationship, so I feel like a lot of us go out and we assume that anyone we’re looking at is in a relationship, and it stops you from going up to them or striking up a conversation with them.

As for the dating scene, as difficult it can be, I think it’s gotten better location-wise over the years. There are a lot more places now that are easier to go on a first date to, if that makes sense. Perfect example, last night: if we’d wanted to bring our dogs, we could’ve, and that’s, in my opinion, it’s a lot easier to be on a first date where there’s a distraction, and I’ll always say that. If it’s not going well, you’ve got a distraction – the dogs, last night was bingo – but when I first got here, it was a lot of sit-down dinners or going out to a bar for drinks. Now, there are a lot more active places here. I know the people last month went to bowling and dinner in the same building, and that, to me, is so much easier than knowing you have to go into a sit-down dinner and talk to somebody for two hours without any break.

[Related: Chem 101: Alison and Emmanuel, who moonlights as a low-key bowling pro]

I used to be on the apps a lot more than I am now, but it’s also a lot more common to be on the apps now. There’s no hesitation anymore, and there’s no more missing a beat to say, ‘Oh, I met somebody online!’ It’s so common that I think it makes it a lot easier to be on these apps. There’s really no judgment anymore.

I’m on Bumble, but I want to meet somebody out where they come up to me and we decide to get dinner in a couple of weeks or something like that. It doesn’t happen anymore.

Andy: Charlotte’s a diverse city, which is part of why I like it. A lot of different people, a lot of different cultures, and I think that’s a good thing. So when it comes to dating, I think Charlotte is a good place to be. It’s a very young city, and there are a lot of people our age, a lot of millennials, so it’s a great place to be to meet people.

I wouldn’t say I date a lot. I probably go on 3 or 4 dates a month, and it varies when it comes to if I’m serious with somebody or just going on first dates. I guess you could say I’m actively dating, but it’s not a weekly or certainly not a daily thing.

Compared to my early and late twenties, dating has definitely changed, and so have the avenues of meeting people. In my early twenties, I was at clubs and stuff like that, but now, I tend to stick to breweries and low-key environments. I occasionally dabble with the apps now, but when I was in my early twenties, 5+ years ago, they weren’t as popular as they are now. I do prefer to meet someone in person instead of over an app.

How did you feel leading up to the date? Were you ever nervous or hesitant, or was there ever a moment you had second thoughts about letting a total stranger send you on a date with another total stranger?

Katie: It was a very interesting experience going in blind. I mean, really blind. This is what our parents did. He was wearing exactly what he said he was going to be wearing, so it was easy, and there weren’t that many people there, so it was easy to find him, but it was definitely interesting. It brought to a whole new level of the dating scene, in my opinion.

What I’m thinking is that with social media and dating apps and things like that, it’s so easy to know who the person is before you’re going in, even if it’s just a photo, you have some kind of idea. This was just based on what you thought would match us up well together and common interests, and I feel like we’ve lost a lot of that nowadays and we only focus on, you know, appearance and what they do. This just gave it a really interesting perspective of, ‘Somebody thinks we’re a good match. Let’s know nothing about each other and go into it with an open mind.’

It definitely did [make me nervous], I’m not going to lie. Leading up to it, it was pretty nervewracking. I mean, dating is one thing, but all of a sudden, you’re like, ‘I’m going on a date where a ton of Charlotte is going to read about it with my photo.’ That was the part that I was like, ‘Is this too much?’ There was some hesitation, for sure, but I’m really glad that I did it.

Andy: I was more nervous – and not to be shallow – about how she was going to look. I don’t mean to say that in a shallow way by any means. Overall, I was excited. I mean, I enjoy meeting people and I’d never been to Hoppin’, so I was looking forward to going and trying something new.

I really don’t mean to be shallow, and I hope it doesn’t come across that way. I mean, it was going to be a good time either way.

What was your first impression?

Katie: I got there first, and I’m always early for everything, which can be kind of embarrassing, but I was like, ‘Oh, whatever.’ There weren’t a ton of people there, so when he walked in alone and he was wearing a red and blue buttondown, I gave him a hug, which might come off as weird, but I didn’t want other people to focus on us and know that, ‘Oh, they just met, they’re on a first date,’ so I just went in for the hug [laughs]. If I see someone on a first date, I’m always eavesdropping, and I didn’t want that, so I just went for the hug like we were old friends.

He was very well-dressed and very well put together, and he was nice. He’d never been there before, and I happen to frequent Hoppin’ often, so we went to the front and I showed him the process and we got a beer and sat down. He seemed nice, but he’s definitely not what I’m used to. I’ve never even been on a date with a very southern person – I’m from New York. He was just very southern and I’m not used to southern gentlemen, where they, you know, stay by your side until your drink has gotten there and walk you back to the table. That was definitely very different for me, but he was very polite. That type of person is not the person I’m usually drawn to, and I was laughing after, like, ‘Then why did you move to North Carolina?’ But, no, it wasn’t like I met him and was like, ‘Ew, southern’ – it’s just a very different type of personality than I’m used to.

Andy: She was very, very cute. Very well put together. As soon as I walked in, I recognized her. It was easy to spot her, and we both instantly recognized each other. Throughout the whole evening, my first impression stayed positive.

Did you guys get along? What’d you like about each other, and what was the vibe? Was there chemistry?

Katie: I noticed right away that he was very polite, and I knew that it was going to be an easy conversation. It was very easy, and his [southern gentleman] personality definitely didn’t impact the date in any way. The conversation was nice. He’s very smart – I feel like all financial people are very smart – and he owns his own home, which is impressive.

We talked about our dogs a lot, and in the first 5 minutes, we were showing each other photos of our dogs. My dog’s name is Trudy and his dog’s name is Rudy, so that’s funny. It was easy, because dogs are always a really good conversation starter. Everyone wants to see photos of dogs. It made it easy, especially since we had our intro via the e-mail that you sent with our shared interests and we had all those points to talk about.

We played music bingo, but he’s not exactly music savvy. A lot of the pop songs, he didn’t know, but I was really enjoying it because I love music and love games, so putting them together was fun. But after the first round, he was like, ‘Hey, it’s really loud in here, do you want to go outside and talk?’ I was kind of like, ‘Oh, but I’m having fun,’ but we ended up going and sitting outside and chatting out there.

I’m going to go with no [there wasn’t chemistry], at least not on my end. He was really interesting to talk to, and that goes along with the southern thing. He had interesting things about growing up here, and different places that he knows about that I don’t. We talked a lot about Asheville, so that was really fun to hear a lot about – you know, where he likes to when he’s there and where I should go next time I’m there. But in regard to dating chemistry, I did not feel it, no.

Andy: We had a lot to talk about. We tried to play bingo, but honestly, the conversation was more exciting than the game was. She was better at bingo than I was, and I’m terrible at picking up on the names of songs for whatever reason, but we did play for a little bit. I enjoyed Hoppin’. It was more crowded than I expected on a Wednesday night, but it was really cool.

We talked about a lot of stuff, like careers, her dog. We both didn’t bring our dogs, but we talked about them. Funny thing, her dog’s name is Trudy and my dog’s name is Rudy, so I thought that was pretty funny. I mean, we talked about a little bit of everything, from family to career, where we’re both from, how we grew up. All the usual, get-to-know-you type of stuff. There was never a lull in the conversation, really. There might’ve been a few moments here and there, but it was very minimal. Nothing really stood out like, ‘Wow, this is awkward.’

I would say there’s chemistry. I can’t speak on her behalf, of course, but on my end, there was definitely a connection. I mean, it was one of those things that I guess, with time, it’ll be more clear. But there was definitely a connection.

How did you leave it?

Katie: We hugged goodbye and he offered to drive me home, which I did not accept. I just jumped in the Uber. I was thinking, ‘As nice as you are, no girl in her right mind should take a ride from, ultimately, a stranger on a first date.’ It was super nice of him to offer and I didn’t want to insult him, but it was a no, and I walked around the corner and just grabbed an Uber.

Andy: Before we left, I asked for her number, so we traded those and kind of just left it open. We haven’t made plans to get together or anything like that, but the conversation will definitely continue and I’d say we’ll probably meet up again sometime. But there wasn’t a set of plans or anything like that. I’m not saying there’s a love connection or anything like that by any means, but she’s an interesting person and I’d definitely enjoy seeing her again.

What rating would you give the date? Let’s do it on a one to five scale.

Katie: I’d go with a 3.5. The venue was great. I love Hoppin’ and think it’s a really cool place – it’s not your typical bar – and I love that you sent us there. I would just take down the rating because I didn’t… I mean, I knew about 10 minutes in, as nice as he was, that I was like, ‘No, this isn’t someone I’m going to be seeing again.’ So that’s where I’d put it, a 3.5. I want to stress he was super nice, very accomplished, but I just didn’t feel the chemistry with him. But still, I’m so glad I did it.

Andy: Overall, I’ll give it a 4. The only way it would’ve been a 5, I think, is if the connection was clear as day.

Update: The two, unsurprisingly, decided not to pursue another date.

Responses have been lightly edited for length and clarity. 

Single and want to participate in Chem 101? Here’s the Agenda Chem 101 dating survey. Fill it out for a chance to be selected.