Axios interviews Austin's EvilMoPac
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That's Austin's Jenga tower embedded in a candy bar. Screenshot via @EvilMopacATX/Twitter
Self-described "pro-gridlock activist" @EvilMoPacATX holds forth on Austin traffic, the weather and criticism from dudes in Oakleys. Evil is the dreaded expressway's online alter ego, so we sent over some of Austin's most pressing questions.
What's worse, MoPac or I-35?
"If by worse, you mean better: MoPac. If by worse, you mean worse: MoPac."
You're stuck for three hours in a broken-down elevator in the Frost Bank Tower. Which three Austinites — alive or dead, if we're being weird about it — would you like to be forced to spend time with?
"Let's change this to rush hour on I-35, which is the broken-down elevator of transportation. And I'm going to pick all living people, because hanging with dead ones is weird. In that case, it would be Willie Nelson, Fred Cantu, and Brooklyn Decker. (Sorry, Andy, it's a small car.) To all y'all who I didn't pick, keep taking my toll lane and we'll see what happens."
When you dream at night, are you imagining the chopped brisket at the dearly departed Ruby's? Or the avocado shake at the late Danny Young's Texicali Grille? Or, put another way, what's one no-longer-available Austin dish that you miss most?
"1989 Miatas and it's not even close. Light. Airy. Delicious."
- Editor's note: To get this joke it helps (a) to remember that EvilMoPac is the avatar of a highway and (b) that the Miata is a sports car.
Who do you want Matthew McConaughey to play in a biopic? (Wrong answers only, please.)
"McConaughey can play my handler in The Evil MoPac Story. He has the necessary range but will have to put on a shirt since my handler is built like the BEFORE Captain America/Steve Rogers."
Screen-time question, since you're best known (as far as we know!) as a tweeter: What's Evil MoPac's first swipe in the morning? And what's on Evil's playlist?
"Excuse me, I'm best known as a bitchy regional highway. All my swipes are right if you know what I mean. As far as music? Bon Jovi, Willie Nelson and Black Pumas. Look at me, I'm a tastemaker."
Where did you go to high school?
"I went to high school at Anderson, Bowie and Austin High. Was a huge troublemaker."