Photo: Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images

At last night's Alfalfa Club dinner — a black-tie cotillion for titans of government and business — physician and former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist [corrected] pretended to give a grim, gloved medical exam to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

The big picture: Don't worry. That's not the fun part. The dinner is off-camera and off the record, but a little bird tells me that former Secretary of State John Kerry, the outgoing Alfalfa president, had a patter that included these lines: "Donald Trump could be the first president to go to the inaugural of his successor in a limo with license plates made by his campaign manager."

  • "I watched the Oscar nominations a few days ago. And afterwards every single actor said what a great honor it was just to be nominated. ... Trust me: It’s not."
  • Roger Stone has "always been controversial. I remember when he got caught advertising for sex in bondage and swingers magazines. So, yesterday morning probably wasn’t the first time he started his day in handcuffs."

Go deeper: Check out the jokes from other Alfalfa dinners during the Trump administration...

Go deeper

Updated 28 mins ago - Health

World coronavirus updates

Data: The Center for Systems Science and Engineering at Johns Hopkins; Map: Axios Visuals

New Zealand confirmed Thursday there are now 13 local cases linked to the four who tested positive for COVID-19, ending 102 days with no community spread. Auckland locked down Wednesday for 72 hours and the rest of NZ is under lesser restrictions.

By the numbers: Over 749,400 people have died of the novel coronavirus globally and over 20.6 million have tested positive, per Johns Hopkins. More than 12.8 million have recovered from the virus.

Updated 1 hour ago - Politics & Policy

Coronavirus dashboard

Illustration: Annelise Capossela/Axios

  1. Global: Total confirmed cases as of 3 a.m. ET: 20,624,316 — Total deaths: 749,421— Total recoveries: 12,831,800Map.
  2. U.S.: Total confirmed cases as of 3 a.m. ET: 5,197,147 — Total deaths: 166,027 — Total recoveries: 1,714,960 — Total tests: 63,252,257Map.
  3. Politics: Pelosi says Mnuchin told her White House is "not budging" on stimulus position.
  4. Business: U.S. already feeling effects of ending unemployment benefits.
  5. Public health: U.S. records deadliest coronavirus day of the summer — America's two-sided COVID-19 response
  6. Education: New Jersey governor allows schools to reopenGallup: America's confidence in public school system jumps to highest level since 2004.

Bob Woodward's new book details letters between Trump and Kim Jong-un

Bob Woodward during a 2019 event in Los Angele. Photo: Michael Kovac/Getty Images

Journalist Bob Woodward has obtained "25 personal letters exchanged" between President Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un for his new book, "Rage," publisher Simon & Schuster revealed on Wednesday.

Details: In the letters, "Kim describes the bond between the two leaders as out of a 'fantasy film,' as the two leaders engage in an extraordinary diplomatic minuet," according to a description of the book posted on Amazon.