Mar 23, 2020 - Economy & Business

Pro Rata's got (more) kid jokes

Illustration: Axios Visuals

Last week, I asked Axios Pro Rata newsletter readers to help build a joke-book for our kids to read, as we try to balance working from home with childcare/makeshift school.

But the jokes kept coming after we posted the original set, so here's a sequel.

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

He walked.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

The C.

Why are fish smart?

They live in schools.

Want to hear a dirty joke?

A pig rolled in the mud.

What did the tree say to the horse?

Nothing. It’s a tree. 

Why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they’re so good at it. 

What did Mommy Scissors say when her kids acted up?

Cut it out!

Where in the world does Friday come before Thursday?

The dictionary.

Why does Peter Pan keep flying all the time?

He never lands.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

It felt crummy.

What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore.

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

Because when you find it, you stop looking.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells.

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Go deeper: Pro Rata's got kid riddles

Go deeper

Pro Rata's got kid jokes

Illustration: Axios Visuals

Yesterday I asked Axios Pro Rata newsletter readers to help build a joke-book for our kids to read, as we try to balance working from home with childcare/makeshift school.

Why it matters: We could all use a little levity right now.

Pro Rata's got kid riddles

Illustration: Axios Visuals

I asked Axios Pro Rata newsletter readers on Wednesday to submit riddles from their kids, as so many of us try to balance working from home with childcare/makeshift school amid the coronavirus outbreak.

My 9 year-old kicked it off: A cowboy rode to town on Friday. He stayed for three days. He rode back home on Friday. How did he do it?

Podcast: Social distancing done right

In this special weekend edition of Pro Rata, we discuss how to safely grocery shop, support local businesses and help neighbors. Plus, we share updates on facemask shortages and the possibility of an economic depression.

Go deeper: Coronavirus dashboard