"The Axios Show": The worst advice Mel Robbins has received
Add Axios as your preferred source to
see more of our stories on Google.
Mel Robbins talks to Jim VandeHei in Manhattan. Photo: Chris Gill for Axios
Mel Robbins has built a media empire around giving people advice and coaching in simple, blunt, effective terms.
- But for every piece of good guidance out there, there's plenty of bad advice too. Axios CEO Jim VandeHei interviewed Robbins for "The Axios Show" and asked her some of the worst tips she hears — and what to do instead.
Here are 3 truisms that just aren't true, according to Robbins, author of the bestselling "The Let Them Theory":
1. Everything happens for a reason. "That's not true. Life is unfair. Things happen to you that you don't deserve," Robbins told us.
- Reframe it: "What I think that means is you can find a reason to go on. … You can find a reason to learn from what happens so you protect yourself, and you're stronger and more resilient."
2. Strike when you're motivated. "Most of us live a feelings-based life," she says. "If I feel like doing it, I will. If I feel motivated, I will. … [But] motivation is complete garbage. It's never there when you need it."
- Challenge it: "Your feelings are going to lie. Your brain is wired to have you do the thing that's easy right now and avoid whatever feels hard," Robbins says. Instead of waiting for the day we feel motivated, we need to learn to do the things we want for ourselves — whether that's waking up early, hitting the gym or changing our diets — even if they don't feel good. Robbins puts it simply: "It's me against me."
3. Habits form with time. There's plenty of research on how many days you have to do something to turn it into a habit — from 21 to 66 to 250. Robbins says she doesn't buy it: "If you don't like doing something, you will always feel resistance."
- Embrace it: Don't count on some day in the future when everything's suddenly going to click. Life's made up of daily choices. Sometimes those decisions are hard, Robbins says, "but I'm doing it because I see a higher vision for myself."
