Jim VandeHei: Your new social media policy

• This alone is not going to save humanity. But we need to start containing the damage — nobody else is going to. And we need to prevent more, starting now.

The big picture: Social media isn't the only problem, but it's a huge part of our toxic reality. So what are we — you and I — going to do to change it?

• One guiding rule: You'll do more good — and cause fewer problems that might haunt you on your job hunt — by thinking and acting clinically, like a doctor, instead of emotionally, like a hysterical patient.

We need emotions: They animate us, shape us, tease meaning and feeling in us. But they can also bring out the very worst in us.

• It's normal and understandable to have feelings about the news — and impossible to be unemotional when your identity feels tied up in current events.

But ask yourself: Do my rawest emotions on this topic need to be on the internet? Or am I better served by an honest conversation with my closest friends and family?

• One thing you won't hear others say: "I wish I had reacted more emotionally, more impulsively, more recklessly." So ... don't.
• Yes, I can hear you screaming now: "Easy for you to say. You're not on the victim's end of personal attacks, taunts or even bullets." But it's not easy for any of us ... unless we practice it.

Here's how:

1. Sit and settle before sending. Almost nothing must be said this second. If you're worked up, and ready to fire off a social media post, email or public rant, sit with it for a few hours or a day. Cooler heads usually prevail. Mike Allen taught me this 20 years ago, and it has saved me endless public embarrassment.
2. Spend more time reading, reflecting, listening, and talking to and understanding others. Most of our thoughts aren't that brilliant, necessary or urgent. The deeper your understanding, the more powerful your thoughts and words grow. Be deeper, not louder.
3. Be a student … of others/ideas. Teach yourself to watch what's unfolding — like you're sitting outside and above yourself. No exercise has made me a better leader and CEO than this one. Take literal notes on what you're witnessing ... and feeling ... and learning ... to make better sense of it. Be a student of life and others, like a foreigner in a strange new land. And then put it to words — in a private journal, not social media — to codify your observations. You'll discover wild new dimensions of humanity and yourself.
4. Be a savvy consultant (to others). This is another golden nugget from Mike: What would a smart person sitting in the corner or on your shoulder, who knew none of the emotional backstory, say about this interaction, decision, relationship, business, idea, post? This naturally expands your mind and perspective.
5. Speak and write clinically. The right words, assembled succinctly and clinically, move more minds than popping off hyperbolically. You'll get fewer likes but share more wisdom. Emotion begets emotion, especially online. Calm, crisp smarts begets respect — and change — over time.
6. You control you. Figure out what you want to use social media for (connection, work, promotion, humor — whatever) and then stick to that. Remember: You control your phone. It doesn't have to control you.
7. Just (don't) do it. We'll end with a twist on the famous Nike slogan. When it comes to public expression, less is more. Adopt a new mindset on social media expression: Just stop. Just don't do it. Words matter. The wrong ones can make you seem meaner or dumber than you actually are. Most employers check your feeds before hiring — so it can cost you a job, too.

The bottom line: Ask yourself why you're going on social media and what you want to gain from it. It doesn't have to enrage you if you don't let it.

• Hat tip to Finish Line contributor Danielle Jones for her ideas.

🥊 Give Jim a piece of your mind: [email protected].

• Go deeper: Jim VandeHei's message to college students, Part 1 ... Part 2 ... Part 3.