Axios Finish Line: Find the bright side
Add Axios as your preferred source to
see more of our stories on Google.
Illustration: Maura Losch/Axios
I got attacked by a psychotic hornet this weekend, and my arm, neck and earlobe look ready to burst.
The backstory: I have, for as long as I can remember, been unusually comfortable with death. (I've got some funny stories about this). What I am not comfortable with — as you may remember from the last Finish Line column I wrote — is the idea of dying in a weird or embarrassing way.
Why it matters: Straws already broke the camel's back in July. "Death by hornet" would just be kicking the camel while it's down.
- Our dog, age 10, had a splenic hemangiosarcoma, found at his annual checkup July 1. He died 3 weeks later.
- Our other dog, age 5, was diagnosed with lymphoma the following week and given 3 months, or maybe more if chemo works.
- My husband's 3-month cancer test, the week after that, found it's time to whack that mole again. (We also learned that his heart is broken from his 2023 heart attack — I've also got some funny tales about this.)
- Meanwhile, I have an increasingly large number of rare autoimmune diseases that are triggered by, among other things, sunlight and stress.
The result: My immune system is being a real asshole, and I look like the strawberry version of Violet Beauregarde.
The big picture: I could, I think, get away with being in a funk right now, or losing my sense of humor. But I am choosing not to.
- I have let myself swim in grief this past month — don't get me wrong. But I won't let myself drown in it.
Losing dogs is almost unbearable. But loss is the price we pay for loving, and their love is worth the pain.
- Bad medical news is hard, but blessed are those with the resources to fight.
Zoom out: The actor Mandy Patinkin, in a 2018 interview, talked about meeting refugees in Uganda, and said: "They would literally cut off their arm in front of you for your worst day on this planet."
- I think about that often. It reminds me that my hurdles are manageable and that I have choices in how I respond to them. I try to choose the response that works best for me.
When you get bad news, would you prefer to think, "Woe is me, everyone I live with gets cancer," or would you rather it motivate you to fight cancer like a full-time job?
- If you saw my swing facing backwards because I've got a condition that requires me to limit exposure to the sun, would you think: "Oh no, she is missing the view!" or would you celebrate, "A beautiful view is just one spin away!"
A lot of times in life, the better view is just a spin away.
- I have grieved, and I will again. But most of the time, I prefer to be merry.
When he wrote the song "Turn, Turn, Turn!" — which was later adapted by the Byrds — in 1959, Pete Seeger borrowed from the Bible's Ecclesiastes and put it best:
"There's a time to be born, a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap; a time to kill, a time to heal; a time to laugh, a time to weep."
The bottom line: Nowhere does it say a time to be murdered by a hornet — or a yellow jacket or whatever type of wasp it was (I didn't get a close look in the chaos).
- So if I survive this, I might tell you some of those funny stories sometime.
