What they're saying: The best guests are defined less by what they bring and more by how they help and connect with others.

• "A guest who grabs a garbage bag on the way to their car is worth their weight in gold," Kristin Pearson Wilcox, CEO of Capitol Manners, tells Axios.
• Also helpful: Offer to watch the grill or help plate food when it's ready.

Bringing wine or beer as a host gift is a safe bet in a pinch — but drinking habits are changing, Pearson Wilcox says.

• Consider non-alcoholic options instead, like a specialty condiment or mocktail.

The big picture: "In D.C., even the most casual cookout can turn into a well-connected room," Crystal L. Bailey, director of the Etiquette Institute of Washington, tells Axios.

• The best guests don't rely on the host for introductions because they aren't afraid to mingle.

Yes, but: Avoid the dreaded "What do you do?" question as a conversation-starter, Bailey says. People want to kick back and forget about work.

• "By defaulting to this question, it narrows a person to their profession and feels transactional."

• Keep the questions light. Think: "How do you know the host?" or "Do you have any fun travel plans for the summer?"

On timing: Don't show up early or stay too late. "The invitation time is not a suggestion," Pearson Wilcox says. (Arriving 15 minutes late is her sweet spot.)

Finally, a rule of thumb for guests and hosts alike: "A BBQ has no org chart," Pearson Wilcox says.

• "Your best friend's brother who just got that internship and the undersecretary you know from work are both just trying to enjoy themselves, and treating them the same is genuinely the move."