We asked ChatGPT how to dump someone in D.C. Its answers are unhinged

State of play: We asked ChatGPT to be just a smidge petty in its answers — and someone might need to do a wellness check on the AI, because these responses are sizzling.

Here are some of its suggestions:

• Inside a packed Metro car during peak hours: "Trapped with nowhere to go, surrounded by strangers. Bonus points if you get off at the next stop and leave them there."
• The food court at the Pentagon City Costco: "Breaking up over a $1.50 hot dog surrounded by bulk shoppers? Cold."
• The middle of the Wharf ice skating rink: "If they're bad at skating, even better— leave them stranded."
• The middle of the Mall: "No quick escape, just a long, painful walk back to reality."
• At the Spy Museum's "Betrayal" exhibit: "Poetic justice."

Mimi's thought bubble: These are all extremely savage, but the best place to really stick it to someone while dumping them might be … The Wharf.

• Because nothing inflicts emotional damage like making someone pay $35 for parking before dumping their butt.