We tried Tysons' drinking-while-shopping scheme and, yes, we got tipsy

Drinking alone outside the Tysons TGI Friday's on a weekday night will cause you to reevaluate your life — which I know because I did it last week.

What's happening: Tysons Corner Center recently announced "Shopping With a Twist," meaning you can buy boozy drinks at participating restaurants, carry them around the mall while you shop and take them into certain stores. So, obviously, I had to try this.

My first stop was at the American Girl Bistro, which I am devastated to report was closed, dashing my dreams of sipping a mediocre Savvy B while surrounded by an army of Bitty Babys.

So I headed to the TGI Friday's, where I ordered a Cooling Paloma cocktail to-go.

• It was good, although a little sweeter than I would have liked thanks to the grapefruit soda. And the mint was a nice touch — classy move, TGIF!
• I got major drinking-in-an-airport vibes as I sipped my cocktail standing outside the restaurant: No windows, no natural light, just one long dissociation from space and time fueled by the buttered popcorn scent wafting from the nearby AMC theater.
• Meanwhile, the frazzled-looking guy driving the children's Christmas train in Sisyphean loops around the mall's third floor looked like he could have used multiple Cooling Palomas himself.

Up next was the grill and wine bar Seasons 52, where I snagged an Espresso Martini.

• For a bang for your buck, go here — this was the largest and strongest 'Spresso 'Tini I have ever been served in my entire life.
• It was good, but I couldn't possibly drink the whole thing — otherwise I might have stumbled into Free People and drunkenly sobbed my life story to a salesperson over a pile of artfully distressed henleys.

Thought bubble: I'd hate to see the kind of brawl shoppers could get into over a pair of linen culottes at Chico's after slamming a couple of these bad boys.

As I walked around with my extremely potent drink, I realized I was the only person carrying one of the clear, "Shopping With a Twist" branded cups in which drinks must be served.

• It was a Wednesday night, though, so it's possible there will be more partakers on weekends closer to the holiday shopping season.

Zoom in: At this point, I'd consumed enough alcohol to fall prey to Sip & Stroll's likely intended consequences: Spending some money. Thanks to the booze, I decided to engage in some extremely reckless behavior — buying something in-person at the mosh pit that is Zara.

• Honestly, it's good that the American Girl Bistro was closed — who knows, maybe I would have tipsily purchased 15 Samanthas.

Fifty dollars and one sweater I absolutely didn't need later, I made it to my last stop, that beacon of any suburban shopping mall: California Pizza Kitchen.

• I already had tequila and vodka in my system, so I decided to throw my body another curveball and go with rum — the California Colada.
• It had major all-inclusive resort vibes — coconutty and dangerously easy to drink, the kind of thing made to sip while staring out at international waters.

The bottom line: As someone who actively tries to avoid malls, I can say that alcohol definitely makes hanging out at a FootLocker way more enjoyable.

• And, well-played Tysons: You definitely boozed me up and out of some money — a trend I'm sure will carry itself out come Black Friday.