What your kids need to know about choosing the right college

On March 10, Charlotte Country Day School welcomed bestselling author Jeff Selingo for a conversation with Upper School students, faculty and parents about one of the most pressing questions for high schoolers today — how to find the right college without sacrificing their well-being.

Why it's important: The higher ed landscape is rapidly evolving, with more students applying to a growing number of schools, rising pressure and shifting expectations.

• For families navigating this complexity, the process can feel increasingly competitive and overwhelming.

The background: Selingo's book "Dream School: Finding the College That's Right for You" draws on years of reporting and research to challenge the traditional definition of college success.

• His visit builds on CCDS's ongoing focus on student wellness and balance, following last fall's conversations with "Never Enough" author Jennifer Wallace.
• Together, these conversations reflect CCDS's commitment to helping students pursue achievement in healthy, sustainable ways — especially as the college landscape continues to evolve.

Take note: Selingo's advice and experience as a journalist helped families and students rethink long-held assumptions about ranking, selectivity and success.

Here's what he had to say. ⬇️

🏅 Look beyond prestige

Highly selective schools dominate the conversation, but they represent only a small fraction of higher education. With an average acceptance rate of around 65% at American colleges and universities, Selingo emphasized that most families have far more options than they think and that prestige doesn't determine outcomes.

• "There's this pressure that we feel around us," he said. "We think we're being bad parents if we're not participating in this panic."

🚣 Start upstream

Too often, students begin their search with a list of school names shaped by hype, social media, bumper stickers and where older students enroll.

Instead, Selingo urged students to start identifying what they want from their experience — from class size and campus setting to teaching style and community — and built a list from there.

💭 Discard the 'dream school' idea

Selingo believes the healthiest college searches leave room for students to change and evolve — what feels right in 10th grade might not feel right by senior year.

• "There isn't one dream school," Selingo said. "There are multiple places where you could find your people, find your place and thrive in a learning community."

💰 Money is also a part of fit

When families are open about affordability, they're more likely to find a good fit.

• Merit aid can make colleges far more realistic than their sticker prices suggest.
• Looking beyond the most selective schools can open up strong academic options and major savings.
• Those savings can matter later for graduate school, early career choices or family finances.

🎓 Don't let college define high school

Speaking directly to students, Selingo advised pursuing classes, activities and interests that actually matter to them — not just because they think it'll impress a college. Otherwise, rejection can make the whole experience feel hollow.

• "If you did it because you wanted to please that anonymous admissions officer on the other side of the desk … then we're doing this wrong," he said.

The takeaway: Guided by insights like Selingo's, CCDS encourages students to focus on fit, purpose and well-being.

The goal is not to lower ambition — it's to find a healthier ambition that focuses on fit, rather than rank.

"I want us to bring exploration, I want us to bring discovery and I want us to bring fun back to the high school experience," he said.

Explore Charlotte Country Day School.