What your kids need to know about choosing the right college

A message from: Charlotte Country Day School

On March 10, Charlotte Country Day School welcomed bestselling author Jeff Selingo for a conversation with Upper School students, faculty and parents about one of the most pressing questions for high schoolers today — how to find the right college without sacrificing their well-being.
Why it's important: The higher ed landscape is rapidly evolving, with more students applying to a growing number of schools, rising pressure and shifting expectations.
- For families navigating this complexity, the process can feel increasingly competitive and overwhelming.
The background: Selingo's book "Dream School: Finding the College That's Right for You" draws on years of reporting and research to challenge the traditional definition of college success.
- His visit builds on CCDS's ongoing focus on student wellness and balance, following last fall's conversations with "Never Enough" author Jennifer Wallace.
- Together, these conversations reflect CCDS's commitment to helping students pursue achievement in healthy, sustainable ways — especially as the college landscape continues to evolve.
Take note: Selingo's advice and experience as a journalist helped families and students rethink long-held assumptions about ranking, selectivity and success.
Here's what he had to say. ⬇️
🏅 Look beyond prestige
Highly selective schools dominate the conversation, but they represent only a small fraction of higher education. With an average acceptance rate of around 65% at American colleges and universities, Selingo emphasized that most families have far more options than they think and that prestige doesn't determine outcomes.
- "There's this pressure that we feel around us," he said. "We think we're being bad parents if we're not participating in this panic."
🚣 Start upstream
Too often, students begin their search with a list of school names shaped by hype, social media, bumper stickers and where older students enroll.
Instead, Selingo urged students to start identifying what they want from their experience — from class size and campus setting to teaching style and community — and built a list from there.
💭 Discard the 'dream school' idea
Selingo believes the healthiest college searches leave room for students to change and evolve — what feels right in 10th grade might not feel right by senior year.
- "There isn't one dream school," Selingo said. "There are multiple places where you could find your people, find your place and thrive in a learning community."
💰 Money is also a part of fit
When families are open about affordability, they're more likely to find a good fit.
- Merit aid can make colleges far more realistic than their sticker prices suggest.
- Looking beyond the most selective schools can open up strong academic options and major savings.
- Those savings can matter later for graduate school, early career choices or family finances.
🎓 Don't let college define high school
Speaking directly to students, Selingo advised pursuing classes, activities and interests that actually matter to them — not just because they think it'll impress a college. Otherwise, rejection can make the whole experience feel hollow.
- "If you did it because you wanted to please that anonymous admissions officer on the other side of the desk … then we're doing this wrong," he said.
The takeaway: Guided by insights like Selingo's, CCDS encourages students to focus on fit, purpose and well-being.
The goal is not to lower ambition — it's to find a healthier ambition that focuses on fit, rather than rank.
"I want us to bring exploration, I want us to bring discovery and I want us to bring fun back to the high school experience," he said.

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