How one of Charlotte's top schools is reframing achievement pressure

One of Charlotte's top-performing schools is leading the conversation by rethinking what healthy success should look like for students.

Why it's important: Kids in high-achieving schools are now among the most at-risk group for anxiety, depression and substance abuse — challenges which can follow them into adulthood.

Charlotte Country Day School recently brought in journalist and author Jennifer Wallace to speak to educators and parents about how to combat toxic achievement culture and cultivate "healthy strivers."

• During the conversation led by Head of School Dr. Kinsey, Wallace shared findings from her research showing that the key to "healthy striving" isn't lowering expectations — it's shifting where kids believe their self-worth comes from.

The impact: When kids feel valued for who they are beyond their accomplishments, their relationship with success — and failure — changes.

The proof: Wallace found common threads among students who felt they mattered. They bounced back from setbacks faster, took healthy risks to reach for higher goals and contributed meaningfully to those around them.

• "Mattering acted like a buoy that would lift them up," Wallace explained. "Setbacks were not an indictment of who they were as people."

More than 500 Country Day parents attended Wallace's talk — a testament to how deeply this issue resonates in the school community.

Next steps: Families came away with action items, like reflecting on the first question they ask kids after school and evaluating how much time outside of school is achievement-focused.

• These small but pivotal moments can reframe and reinforce the values that matter most.

What Country Day parents are saying:

• "Jennifer's insights have been instrumental in helping me reframe my interactions with my kids, focusing on 'mattering' rather than just outcomes," said Country Day parent Ben B.

• Parent Mollie G. added that the school is "equipping parents by guiding them to do what Country Day does best — support, see and empower students for who they are, not what pressure and expectations demand them to be."

The takeaway: When kids learn to pursue their goals without tying their self-worth to outcomes, they build lasting values and a healthier path to success well into adulthood.

Dive in deeper with these 13 takeaways from Jennifer Wallace's visit.