Blind Date: 28-year-old adventurous guy and 27-year-old nurse not feeling the chemistry
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How does Blind Date work: Charlotteans fill out this Agenda Blind Date Survey about their make-or-breaks, their ideal types and their perfect dates. Then the Agenda plays matchmaker by sending couples out on blind dates. Below are the results. Want the chance to get matched? Fill out the survey!
I promised our couple total anonymity in exchange for candid post-date interviews so I could give you an article free of “The date was a 5/5! We won’t see each other again though because we had no chemistry.” You get it.
Say hello to Danny and Tara. Danny is a 28-year-old whose best friend would describe him as “loyal, willing to go the extra mile to help a friend, great sense of humor.” He says he loves trying new things and is always looking for a new adventure, which includes going to a diverse range of concerts, playing trivia, hiking and brewery hopping.
Tara is a 27-year-old RN who says she loves trying new fitness classes, playing trivia and going to sporting events. Her best friend would describe her as “happy-go-lucky, kind and caring and goofy.” She says if she had to describe herself as an object, it would be sunshine.
I matched these two because they both talked about having an adventurous spirit, a laid back approach to life and a desire to experience new things in Charlotte, plus they have shared interests. I sent them to a brewery so they could grab a drink, but hop around to other spots if it went well. Here’s how it went:
How do you feel about the dating scene in Charlotte?
Danny: It’s pretty varied. I’ve been in Charlotte for almost six years now, and it’s a mix of girls with that Southern hospitality and then there are people who are more straightforward, too. It’s a melting pot.
Tara: I feel like the guys here just want to have fun, and I’m really ready to settle down and date, but then again there are a lot of people on dating apps that say they’re looking for a relationship. I, myself, haven’t been successful in meeting a guy that wants to commit to getting to know each other and flourish into a relationship. It seems to always fizzle out after a date or two.
How do you find dates now?
Danny: I use Bumble most of the time, since I’m typically really busy with work.
Tara: Currently I’m on Hinge. Honestly, I’ve yet to meet somebody out at the brewery, but that would be an approach. Like, “Hey, do you want to go out sometime?” But on the weekends no one wants to come up and get to know each other that way. So for me it’s been through dating apps.
[Agenda related guide: More and more single Charlotteans turning to Hinge and flirting on Instagram]
How did you feel leading up to the date?
Danny: I was excited and a little bit nervous. I’ve never been on a fully 100 percent blind date before. But definitely excited. It’s always fun just going out and meeting people in general.
Tara: I was honestly a little terrified, which is funny to me because I’m a really laid back go-with-the-flow person. But I was also excited just doing something outside the box. I think it’s always good to go outside your comfort zone because you don’t know what it could lead to. It could be positive or it could be just another experience. You can always grow from stuff like this.
What was your date like?
Danny: She was very personable. Right out of the gate we were talking and laughing. She had a very bubbly personality and was very extroverted. She was very nice and sweet.
Tara: He was REALLY nice. A very nice guy, and someone I could see myself being friends with. For me, I think I’m very extroverted and he was an introverted extrovert. He’s a nice guy, and I hate using that word, but I think I need somebody on the more extroverted spectrum like me.
On a scale of 1-10, rate your conversation:
Danny: It was good, there were no awkward pauses or anything like that. We were always talking about something. Since we didn’t know each other, there was so much to talk about — either family, work or things like that. It was a good conversation. I’d say probably an 8.
Tara: I’d give it a 6. I felt like there was good conversation. We weren’t just like, “So, what do you do?” We talked about our families and where we grew up and our jobs. It was more in-depth than a surface-level conversation, and that’s something to look for in someone. I don’t just want to talk to somebody about what I did every day. I want to really get to know each other. So it was a good conversation, I just wasn’t feeling that chemistry and that romantic vibe.
On a scale of 1-10, rate your chemistry:
Danny: I thought it was pretty good chemistry, but it’s kind of hard to tell just off of the first date. I would definitely have to go meet someone a little bit more to really entertain chemistry, but I would say a 7 or an 8.
Tara: I would give our chemistry a 4. I honestly can’t say anything bad about him as a person, but sometimes it just doesn’t click. I enjoyed being out with him and getting to know him, it wasn’t time wasted by any means. It wasn’t stressful or nerve-wracking, it was chill and relaxed, we just kind of went with the flow, which was nice. But it was like I was hanging out with a friend. Honestly, he’ll be a good person for somebody. He’s a good guy.
How would you rate the date overall?
Danny: I’d give it a solid 8. I thought it was a really good date.
Tara: Overall, I would give the date a 6. Even though there was no romantic connection, we had a good time. At the end of the day, if you can leave a date being like, “I didn’t want to run away. I didn’t want to not talk to him at all,” I think you can look at it more positively. People look at dates either negatively or positively, but I met someone new and got to learn about somebody’s life that wasn’t my own. If you can get to know people and their stories, that’s important.
Will there be a second date?
Danny: She gave me her number first, and we texted for a little bit over the weekend. But then I got a message from her last night saying that she didn’t really think it was gonna work out. There’s no offense taken, I mean that’s the point of going on dates after all.
Tara: We exchanged numbers at the end and he asked if I wanted to go hiking and I was like, “It was really nice to meet you and I think you’re an awesome guy, but I just don’t see this going any further in the long run.” My biggest problem with the dating scene is people aren’t willing to be honest. I’ve gone out with guys who have been like, “I had such a good time with you! I want to go on a second date with you!” But then I text them and they don’t say anything at all. And I’d much rather them be like, “I think you’re an awesome girl, but I just don’t really see this working out.” People are more receptive to that than you just disappearing. That’s not the right thing to do. When you date somebody, you’re either going to be together forever or at some point you’re not going to go out again. So you just have to be honest with them! You have to be like, “Hey, I hurt their feelings, but at least they heard it from me.”