10 things this Panthers fan wishes you’d stop doing at Bank of America Stadium

Back to our favorite traditions: Sweet Caroline sing-alongs, Cam Newton’s wig-snatchingly good fashion sense, and, oh yeah, sharing Bank of America Stadium with a fanbase that seriously needs a lecture how to cheer for football.

If you don’t have some gripes about how annoying our home crowd can be, you’re probably one of the annoying ones.

I get that we’re still a younger fanbase and that most people in Charlotte have teams from back home they probably enjoy more. But that doesn’t excuse these 10 huge no-nos people should stop doing at Bank of America Stadium.

Stop asking others to sit down

This is professional football, not a middle school violin recital. There’s absolutely no reason you should be asking your fellow fans to have a seat, pipe down, or quit dabbing. If you’d like a more polite sports experience, how about going to a Hornet’s game? No one has any reason to cheer there.

Stop stealing seats

There’s nothing more annoying than hiking all the way to the 500 level, my hands full of beer and Bojangles’, only to have to tell some freeloader to get out of my assigned seat. I know you and your friends couldn’t find seats together from the scalper outside, but that’s no reason to claim manifest destiny over my seats.

Stop being drink snobs

I can’t stand it when I’m at the game with a friend and they make a big show out of searching for local craft beer. I understand being a beer snob or preferring wine, but I’m not going to miss the opening kickoff just to make sure no one accidentally sees you with a Bud Light. Dilly dilly.

Stop standing, like, six inches behind me at the urinal

Bro, I promise that nobody is going to snipe your spot the urinal line. You don’t have to stand so close to me that I can feel your breath on my neck as I’m trying to do my business. A solid five-foot buffer won’t kill you.

Stop cheering when our offense is out

We all love Cam Newton, but there’s a time and place to express that love for him. While he’s trying to communicate audibles to his offense is not that time. It never fails to surprise me how few people know this fundamental rule of live football. Please use your inside voices while our offense has the ball.

Stop sitting on your hands while our defense is out

On the other end of the spectrum, Bank of America Stadium needs to learn how to get very, VERY loud when the opposing team has the ball. This makes it hard for offensive players to hear the audibles or snap counts, making it more likely they’ll screw up the play or have a false start. Scream, yell, wail incoherently. Just make some noise.

Stop making comments about Cam Newton’s “attitude”

It’s wild to me that even though he’s a former MVP who turned this entire franchise around, people still find time to criticize Cam over things that don’t matter. Who cares if he has a towel on his head? Who cares if that grown man decided not to talk to other grown men at a press conference like two years ago? Let that dude be great.

Stop wearing your home team’s jersey

I get it, you’re from Buffalo and for some unknown reason, you really miss it. Here’s my advice for how you should enjoy a Panthers game. Step 1) Stay home. That’s it. Our fanbase may be generally too passive to hassle you over it, but Bank of America Stadium is no place for your Bills, Steelers, or especially *gag* Patriots gear. Get you some black and blue!

Stop leaving in the 3rd quarter

Bank of America Stadium generally starts to empty out with about six minutes left in the 3rd quarter. There’s a chunk of Charlotteans who’ve probably never even seen the 4th quarter of a Panthers game. I’m sure it makes our team feel super inspired to watch their hometown crowd show more dedication to beating than traffic than to the team they came to watch.

Stop chanting “LUUUKE” whenever any white defensive player makes a tackle

Okay, this one’s actually pretty funny. It started with A.J. Klein and has continued with David Mayo, but anytime a white defensive player makes a tackle, I guess people assume it’s Luke Keuchly and chant “LUUUKE.” As funny as that is, knowing which player is which is bare minimum for being a sports fan, folks.

Honorable mentions

– Stop tucking in your jerseys
– Stop getting to the game late
– Stop selling your tickets to away fans